I have become a BABIES Ambassador

I don't know about you, but when I heard about the BABIES movie, I knew I would couldn't wait to see it!  Then...well, then I forgot about it.  I mean I was having my own baby and got a little preoccupied.  But fortunately, I started this blog and it got me noticed enough that I got an email from the BABIES people asking me to be a BABIES ambassador.  I am sure all my mommy bloggers got the same email, but for me- it was my first chance to promote something.  I never thought I would get the opportunity, let alone be able to promote something that I probably would have talked about anyway.  Okay, I will get a grip and move past my excitement.  Let me share with you some information and links:

Here is what they have to say about the movie:
The adventure of a lifetime begins…
Directed by award-winning filmmaker Thomas Balmès, from an original idea by producer Alain Chabat, Babies simultaneously follows four babies around the world – from birth to first steps. The children are, respectively, in order of on-screen introduction: Ponijao, who lives with her family near Opuwo, Namibia; Bayarjargal, who resides with his family in Mongolia, near Bayanchandmani; Mari, who lives with her family in Tokyo, Japan; and Hattie, who resides with her family in the United States, in San Francisco.
Re-defining the nonfiction art form, Babies joyfully captures on film the earliest stages of the journey of humanity that are at once unique and universal to us all."

What do I think about it?  I think this is going to be a movie that all my new mommy friends and I are going to have to go see.  Maybe we can all ditch our own babies with our husbands and go out together?? ooh! I am so excited.  I know there will be tears on my part- some because the babies are so cute, some because they remind me of my baby, and some because once I am reminded of my baby, I will be reminded that I ditched him with my husband to go see the movie--enter mommy guilt!

Do you want to know more about the movie?  Check out this trailer:



Seriously, if you all aren't excited about this movie, then you probably aren't a mom, don't love babies, and aren't reading this blog. 

If you are excited about this movie, let me know in the comments! 

Toodles!

Mommy C

My Sister is Guest Posting Tomorrow!

Tomorrow you are going to meet "Trixie", a 30 something prosecutor, mom of two, wife (of one, but do I really need to say that?) and my big sister.  Growing up the little sister of Trixie was tough, she was way smarter and far wittier than I ever could possibly be and as much as I might have wanted to hate her, she was the best big sister a girl could have.  She was my protector, mentor, and all-around-go-to-gal in life.  Being a bit of a free spirit that I was (am?), she always knew when I was heading in the wrong direction long before I did and although I never wanted to listen to her advice, I would always tell her what was going on, secretly hoping she would tell me that "yes, you have finally made the right decision".

Some time in the last 10 years she went from just being my big sister to being my friend.  Prior to then she was always in a different stage of life than I was.  She was out of high school 2 years before I even got there, out of the house for good shortly after that, and it wasn't till my first year of college (her last year of law school) that we were kind of in the same place, but even then she was still my big sister showing me the ropes of this great big world of ours (and teaching me that even though I didn't drink alcohol, it was necessary to always have something in my hand at a party, yes even if it was an empty cup). I guess it wasn't till she was getting married that we really connected as friends....I believe the moment included lots of wine and singing camp songs. 

Around that time I had met my husband (although we were not yet married), I had a great job, and had basically come down to earth to live a normal life.  In fact, I don't think I asked for a ton of advice during that time (unless you want to count the several month period prior to my husband's proposal to me when I thought I might just lose my mind if he didn't ask me to marry him soon).  It wasn't until I got pregnant and then had my son 12 weeks ago that I started going back to her for advice, lots and lots of advice.  Sometimes she had advice to give and sometimes she just commiserated with me, letting me know that I was not in fact the only person in the world to think I was going to completely lose it before my child turned 3 months old.  There were even a few times that she would share with me the struggles she was going through with her second child, specifically the struggles of assisting her second born to learn to sleep without the swaddle (I know a bunch of you just took a big sigh and thought, "oh, yeah.  That period sucks).

So tomorrow she will share with you one of her latest adventures of being a mom and a wife.  I have already read it and I think it is hilarious.  If you end up thinking it is hilarious too, please leave a comment and tell her as much.  I am trying to convince her to become a regular guest blogger for me and all your nice comments will help.

Good night all!

Mommy C

(I hope you enjoyed all the fun pictures of Trixie and I as kids!)

Tuesday Weigh-In @ WW

If you follow my tweets you know that I have had a crazy week.  Baby S has hit a growth spurt and has been feeding every 1-1.5 hours almost every day for the last week (minus the night time).  That has meant few moments where I am not holding him, thus little has gotten done.  I know this sounds all too familiar to other moms and I think we all share the same guilt that goes along with it too.  I feel like I have had no time to do any cleaning or cooking...well you get the idea.  The two things that I found plenty of time for? Feeding Baby S and eating.  Yup, I was ravenous all week.  At some point I gave in and decided that I was just going to eat if I was hungry, to hell with the scales.

So fast forward to today when I was about to step on the scale, convinced that I was going to weigh more than last week, pissed that I had eaten so much, and so dang exhausted from feeding Baby S.  I walked up to my WW leader and burst into tears.  Seriously, tears came streaming down my face and I told her that I was sure that I had gained weight this week and I couldn't bear to know how much.  She was so kind and seemed all too prepared for my meltdown.  Somehow she got me on the scale and you know what?? I lost weight!  I don't know how it happened.  The only thing I can figure is that my body was actually burning more calories than it had been because Baby S was calling on it to make more and more milk.  I also think it helped that I didn't have anything too terrible in the house to eat.  So when I was eating all the time, I was eating Fiber One bars, carrots, cheese sticks, vita-tops, yoplait smoothies (the ones from the freezer) and low calorie chips and crackers (I have no idea how many points I was eating because at the same time I gave in to my hunger, I threw out the points).  I am so glad that the week is behind me and Baby S is slowing down on the feedings. In fact, I even got some cleaning done today...but I was extra motivated (more details about my motivation in one of my next posts). 

So here is the breakdown:
Goal: 50 pounds
Week: 6
Loss this week: 1.2 pounds

Total Loss: 8.6 pounds

One last note- I am nearing my first milestone in my weight loss.  Once I lose over 2 more pounds I will be under a number that I swore I never would go over.  I have really beat myself up since I realized I was over this particular number and I think it will be a huge weight (both literally and figuratively) off my shoulders.

Favorite Moments Friday

I think I am starting a bad pattern, I am late again.  I feel justified though since I think we are full swing into a fantastic growth spurt complete with hourly feedings and extreme fussiness.  Fortunately, he is starting to sleep more and has had one 2 hour nap yesterday and today along with some mini naps.  Any who...onto my favorite moment of the week...

Sam no longer is in the infant car seat when we use the BOB stroller!  Thanks to the reclining back and our Bundle Me, Sam can lay right down in the BOB and is completely secure.  I think he likes it a lot more too, especially since he can kick his legs all about when he feels like it (which is frequently). 

I feel like the guy in the Dunkin' Donuts commercial, only I say, "time to feed the baby" a bazillion times a day.  So on that note..."time to feed the baby".


Toodles!
Mommy C

Who needs sleep?

Alright ladies, who can relate to this?  I know I am not alone.  Right now my issue is that I am attempting to not go to Baby S every time he starts to make noise in his bassinet.  The problem? He starts stirring and I lie in bed waiting the stirring to turn into fussiness so I can go in and take care of it.  No matter how much I tell myself that I should fall asleep till he starts crying, I can't do it!  My sister told me to wear ear plugs and it makes perfect sense...I would miss the small noises, hear the loud ones and life would be wonderful.  Except....I am paranoid that I would miss something.  I know, I know...I will hear him if he is crying, but this is me being a paranoid new mom so get off my back. :)

On a side note related to sleep, Baby S has struggled to sleep today- no afternoon nap and it took us almost 3 hours before he fell asleep tonight (thank you gas).  So in an attempt to keep sane during all this, I have been singing the Barenaked Ladies song, "Who needs sleep?" since 1pm. Take a moment and sing along...

Tuesday's Weigh-in @ WW

Yup, I am a day late.  I don't have a great excuse except to say that I am a mom and Baby S is my number one priority.  That and it was super sunny yesterday so we decided to go for a 3.8 mile walk during nap time instead of sitting around the house.


So how did this week go?  I am down and that is all that matters. In fact, I was looking back at one of my tracking books from when I lost about 50 pounds last time (have I mentioned how much I hate that I have to do this AGAIN) and I had more than 10 times where I lost less than .6 pounds in a week and I lost all the weight in about 9 months.  I am not going to fool myself into thinking that I can do it that quickly again, but I am certainly going to try to work as hard as I did last time and see where it gets me. 

So here is the breakdown:
Goal: 50 pounds
Week: 5
Loss this week: .6 pounds

Total Loss: 7.4 pounds

Favorite Moments Friday

I can't believe it is Friday already!  What happened to this week?  As I sit down to write this post, I realize that I really need to be keeping notes.  I know that I said several times this week, oh I need to put this in Friday's post....but now I can't remember half of them. Oh well, lesson learned.  Here is what I do remember:

• Baby S got thrown out of a bar last weekend. (hee hee) Actually we were at a brewery/restaurant in downtown Portland and at 9pm it stops being a restaurant in the eyes of the law.  So they kindly asked us to leave the premises so no one got into trouble.  How did they know that Baby S becomes a total lush at 9:30??
• We bought a Bumbo for Baby S last week and he is getting the hang of sitting in it.  I have to place my hand behind his head for some of the time because he wants to lean backward and so his head flops backwards, but it seems like every day he holds his head fully up on his own longer and longer.
• I took a bunch of pictures for St. Patrick's Day with Baby S in his green diapers. I had done a similar thing at Valentine's Day and I was surprised how much more he put up with this time round. Sadly, I do torture him with lots and lots of pictures, but I got some real cute shots that will be fun to look back on when he is older.  I had contemplated putting some milk into his bottle and dyeing it green, but since he rarely even drinks out of a bottle I decided it wasn't the memory I was going for.  Maybe I will do that in a sippy cup next year. :)
• Baby S is tracking me a lot more lately.  My husband will hold him and Baby S will watch me walk around the room, trying to keep an eye on me the whole time.  He did that again today when I brought him in to see some coworkers.  There is something so amazing about having someone be that attached to you.  It is also slightly overwhelming. 

I think I actually remembered all the ones that I actually wanted to put into this post.  I'm so proud of myself.

So now I will stop going on and on and ask you to add a comment with your favorite moment or moments with your little (or big) ones this week.

Have a great weekend!  Go Jayhawks!

Mommy C

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Just wanted to take a quick moment and wish everyone a

and just because I think he is the cutest baby ever, 

here are some others:

Tuesday's Weigh-in @ WW

Weigh-In @ Weight Watchers
I am on a roll!  I was really worried about this week because I haven't been tracking.  I know about how much I can eat in a day so I am trying to see if I can do it without writing things down.  I know the points of most things I eat so I tend to keep a running tally in my head.  If I don't know the points I will look them up if I think they may be a lot.  I guess I figure that I can't write down what I eat forever, that just won't work for me.  So, if I can follow the plan without writing it down and be successful, it will be easier to keep this up.  so far it is working...if it stops working, I will go back to tracking. :)

So here is the breakdown:
Goal: 50 pounds
Week: 4
Loss this week: 1.4 pounds

Total Loss: 6.8 pounds - I got my first 5 pound star today!


Yo Tweeps
Have you checked out Adventures of a Supah Mommy yet? Thanks to her I have a lot of new followers on Twitter AND am now following a bunch of great mommas.  There are so many great blogs out there it is hard to stay on top of them all.   I use Google Reader most of the time, so I can go through them fairly quickly.  However, I like to comment on a lot of posts and end up going to their website in the end any how. 


Do you follow lots of fellow mommy bloggers out there?  Do you have tricks for staying caught up with your reading and not spending all of your child's nap time reading (because frankly, I need a nap too)?  Please share!! 

Toodles,

Mommy C

Time Change and Sleep

I Hate Springing Forward!!
I have to say that this time change is kicking my butt!  I have never had such a difficult time making the transition.  Maybe it is because I have a two month old that still thinks it is the old times which means going to sleep later, waking up later, and naps....well forget about the naps they are just f-ed up.

Sleep, or the lack of it
Last night I went out to dinner with a friend while hubby hung out with Baby S.  I had a great time with my friend and hubby did his usual awesome job taking care of our kid.  I was gone long enough that he had to feed him a bottle.  Unfortunately, stupid me made a rookie mistake and didn't pump before heading to bed.  So, I woke up at 2:30 this morning completely engorged and in pain.  Baby S was sound asleep so I snuck downstairs and pumped.  As I was finishing up guess who I heard?  Yup! Baby S was stirring.  I was hoping that he would just fall back to sleep, so I snuck back upstairs and was about to get back into bed when it became clear that he had woken up and was thinking he might like to eat.  Ugh!  Now became the dilemma, do I warm up some pumped milk or try to feed him myself?  I decided it was worth trying to feed him myself and fortunately that seemed to work...except for the fact that he did not then want to go to sleep.  He was wide awake and grinning at me...his grins are the cutest thing in the world and I couldn't help melt when he started it, but then sleepiness took over and I wanted the grin to go away, the eyes to close, and sleep to begin...for both of us.  It took me almost 2 hours to get him back into bed.  This is SO not like him. 

Today hasn't been much better in the sleep department.  I have something that I do almost every morning of the week.  While I am out Baby S always gets his morning nap.  It works out perfectly...until it doesn't.  He normally falls asleep in the car, today he didn't.  He normally sleeps through my weight watcher meeting(more on this later), today he didn't.  He normally wakes up around the time we return, hangs out for awhile, eats and then by 1pm is asleep again for an afternoon nap...today he is cranky and refusing to sleep.  I am trying to hold strong and not go up to him as I listen to him fight sleep (via the monitor).  He isn't crying, just fussing with moments of silence in between.  He is getting really good at soothing himself and falling asleep on his own, so I don't want to interfere if I don't have to.  I have given him another 15 minutes or till he starts crying, whichever comes first.  Wish me luck!


Hugs,

Mommy C

Silence

I am a new lover of silence.  Not the awkward silence that comes after someone says something stupid or the silence that happens during one of my boring lessons as a teacher...I am a fan of the silence that comes when everyone in the house is sleeping but me.  I used to hate this silence.  It made me feel lonely and anxious, like I had been abandoned.  But that has all changed, because today it allows me to take a deep breath and just relax.  No dogs to corral, no baby to soothe, no husband to humor...just silence.  Ahhhhh!


Today I am using this silence to catch up on some blogs that I follow.  I learned about the yo-tweeps traffic exchange from Supah Mommy and got myself all set up for this Wednesday.  I read about how my friend Mom-In-A-Million does not love Trader Joe's as she guest posted over at Letters from Crazyville. I also caught up on some posts that I had not yet read by Crazed Mama while I was there.  Next I saw that Mommy Brain had chosen a winner for her latest giveaway.  She shared some of the funny Mommy Moments that were submitted...I actually giggled out loud while reading the ones about the cable guy and the UPS guy- I am surprised neither of them won.  Although I have to say that not remembering your new child's name is quite the mommy moment! 

There are so many more blogs to read and so little time.  I know Baby S will be up soon so I am going to take advantage of the last moments of silence and take a shower. 

TTFN
Mommy C 

Yo-Tweeps

Welcome to Yo Tweeps Twaffic Exchange CARNIVAL

The "supah" cool chica over at Adventures of a Wanna-Be Supah Mommy has a "supah" awesome way to increase your twitter traffic and meet some new bloggers along the way.

Do you want to increase your Twitter traffic?  Simply play along!

FOLLOW THESE SIMPLE STEPS:

1. Follow Supah, DUGH!

2. MAKE A BLOG POST LIKE I have.

{Copy and paste these directions.}

3. Grab the YO Tweeps Twaffic Exchange Button.

{Click on him}

Put him in your post.

{He's so cute. Put him on your sidebar too if you're that kinda girl.}

4.. Put a twitter icon / link on your blog post.

Twitter Buttons

5. Link up with Supah

6. Visit some other #YOTweeps linkers on the list.

7. Follow them if you choose and shout out to them on twitter.

Example: for those Twitter illiterates

@supahmommy #yotweeps I'm following

(Follow their blog as well if you're interested.)

8. If someone follows you JUST reciprocate. It's that easy.

It's a no brainer...really! 


Oh, and don't forget to spead the word!

Favorite Moments Friday

My sister recently mentioned that she wishes she had kept a journal so that she could remember all her favorite moments as a mom. That got me thinking about how I could incorporate it into the blog and have people share their favorite (or important) moments from the past week with their children.

So this week I am going to share my favorite (or important) moments from the last two months and you get to share your favorite (or important) moments since your child was born. Next week we will just reflect on the past week.

Here it goes:

My favorite moments with Baby S:

[Month 1]

• The first hour and a half after he was born, Baby S was laying on my stomach/chest. He wasn't moved to be weighed, bathed or given tests. The nurses just left us there to bond and it was amazing. My husband and I examined his fingers and toes, I nursed him, and we began to tell him about the world he just entered.
  
• Our first night home was probably the worst night we have had so far, but had that night not happened I probably wouldn't appreciate how awesome we actually have it with Baby S. I found out the next day that Baby S was probably more fussy because he wasn't getting enough food from me. We sorted that out though and life quickly got better.
• My parents don't live near us and neither do my in-laws, so when Baby S got to meet my parents it was a big moment. My mom arrived just 4 days after he was born and my dad and step-mom were here several days later. I was so proud the moment I got to share my son with them.
• Feeding Baby S wasn't that easy at first. I needed the help of a lactation consultant and a nipple shield (oh joy!)...and sadly, some formula. But, by the time my milk came in we were on a (pain free and formula free) roll. Some of my favorite moments so far have been feeding Baby S in the middle of the night as the whole house slept. In those early days I would feed him, then change him (silly me), and then rock him. As I rocked him to sleep I got to witness his early smiles as he drifted off to sleep.
  
• When Baby S was 3 weeks old he got to meet his great grandmother (my husband's side). Grandma seemed so shocked that we would trust her to hold him. I don't think we have seen her smile that much in a long time.
  
• My husband decided that he really liked reading books to Baby S early on and has tried to read at least one book each night. I love to look on as my two guys spend time together. Even better? Our one male dog loves to listen in too- he will sit at the end of the couch and stare at the book as if he understood what my husband was reading. It is hilarious!!
  

[Month 2]

• When Baby S turned one month old we were blessed with two new achievements. He could grasp objects other than our fingers (although he still preferred our fingers over anything) and we got our first real smile!
• Baby S's first Blazer game!! Baby S was just a month and a half, but we got him some ear protection and away we went! He absolutely loved all the lights and stared at them for most of the night.
  
• My in-laws came and visited when Baby S was almost 2 months old. Once again I was so proud to introduce them to my son, but this time was a little bit different. This time I got to watch as my husband interacted with his parents as a father. I can't describe the change, but it was there and it was really cool to watch.
  

[Month 3- week one and two]
I have two not so favorite moments from these two weeks, but they are important moments so I am including them.

• First is that Baby S had his first shots on his two month birthday. OMG...I didn't expect to be upset by this, but I think I had more tears than he did! Fortunately he was super exhausted so as soon as I calmed him down, he fell asleep. They told me he would be more tired than normal, but I wasn't prepared for how tired he actually was. He got the shots at noon and he slept till 6pm! He did two 'dream feeds' during that time, but I was really beginning to worry. Fortunately, my sister ensured that it was, in fact, okay. But I still posted my concern on Facebook to get more reassurance from my Facebook mommy friends.
• Second is that Baby S threw up for the first time this week. I am not sure what was going on, but he has been spitting up a lot more lately (didn't really spit up at all during the first two months) and he didn't have a fever. He only threw up once, but he did spit up twice that day and twice the next day. So now I am feeding him less at a time, but more frequently.
  

So now to some actual favorite moments....

• Baby S has come out of his shell in the last two weeks. He spends a lot more time smiling and a ton more time wiggling and cooing. He likes to lay on his back and look around at the world. He has a new play gym that he loves- he stares into the mirror and "talks" to the baby. It is adorable!
• My husband and I have our bedroom back. Baby S moved to his own room earlier this week. He is such a loud sleeper that I think everyone is sleeping better now that I am not constantly checking on him every time he makes a noise. I was torn at first, but since he has slept for loner stretches since he went in there, I think it was a good decision.
  

Are you ready to share some favorite moments with me? Please take a moment and comment. I can't wait to read what you have to say!

Mommy C

Blog under construction!

Please bear with me while I fiddle with the construction of my blog. I am exploring the template world and attempting to customize a page that is just right for me.

Thank you for your patience!

Mommy C

If dogs and babies could speak...

Long before I had a dog or a child a friend sheepishly admitted to me that he and his girlfriend "talk" for their dogs. They have full conversations between the dogs about a variety of topics, usually regarding the things around them at the moment. For example, as the dog sniffs around the dinner table, my friend might say (speaking for the dog), "I have been a good dog, you should give me some of your scraps" and then his partner would speak (as herself) in response to what he said, "No way Jose, this is my food." At the time, I thought he was insane.

Then...I got a dog. My husband and I became instantly guilty of this. I think we may have had more conversations that included our dog, then we did with each other.

Then...we got another dog and what happened? We began to imagine conversations they must have between each other, with us, with their toys...we were out of control.

Then...we had a baby. Baby S has been part of more conversations (through us) and has more opinions on things than you could imagine. In fact, when we are sitting around just the three of us, my husband and I don't speak to each other, but rather through the baby. Now, since my friend told me this I have seen other people do it as well, so I don't think we are original by any means, but my husband has brought it to a new level. Dear Hubby has decided that if he is going to speak for Baby S, he might as well make it "real". So he puts his finger under his lips and open and close his mouth as he speaks for the baby (imagine those E-trade commercials only being able to see the finger moving the baby's mouth). This folks has been our form of entertainment for the last 2 months at the expense of our poor son.

What crazy things did you or do you do with your baby?

A whole lot of everything...

I have lots of different thoughts running through my brain today so here it goes....

Not surprisingly, a lot of you feel or have felt the same feelings I have had about being a mom lately. Beyond the few comments here, I have received a couple emails from friends and my sister got her mommy friends to comment on her Facebook page and it feels great to know that other moms "get it". I feel so honored to belong to the "Mommy Club" where other moms stick up for each other, help each other out, and routinely remind us that we are in fact doing a good job. Thank you!!

Through the last post I put out into the universe that I needed help entertaining or playing with my 2 month old. "They" say when you put your desires out into the universe, the universe will answer (or something along those lines). Well I had my "New Mom Group" through the hospital that I delivered at yesterday. It is run by an amazing postpartum doula (she also works for the hospital) that has begun to bring in guest speakers periodically. Today we had the visitor that I had been needing....the owner of a local Gymboree!! By the time she was done I felt like I had some more tools to be entertaining to my baby. She showed us a position to sit in to play with our babies, gave us these beach balls that allowed our babies to do "tummy time" in a new way, sang some songs (some I knew already thanks to being a teacher), and played with the parachute. I think we will wait to actually go to Gymboree till Sam is older, but I am grateful for the tools I now have.

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On a side note, I thought I might share my journey of weight (gain and) loss. I know that so many moms struggle with their weight after having children and although that isn't my personal issue...I am still overweight and struggling with it. You see, when I got pregnant I was about 50 pounds over weight...that is really hard to admit because I lost 50 pounds with Weight Watchers just a few years ago. Life happened though and it is what it is...now I just have to do something about it. So a few weeks ago I signed up for Baby Boot Camp and Weight Watchers.

Baby Boot Camp is a postnatal workout class where you get to bring your baby in a stroller as they kick your butt back into shape. Seriously, many of the women in my class are these amazing athletes now (granted they have toddlers now so they may have been at this awhile). I have come a long way since my first class and I am already starting to feel physically better. During my last class I ran/walked over 2 miles and averaged about 5.5 mph! I have a long way to go, but I am really enjoying my butt kicking 3 times a week.

I go to Weight Watchers on Tuesdays...and yes, today I weighed in. So far I am down a total of 4.8 pounds in the 3 weeks I have been going! I feel like I am starting to get back into the groove of things. Thank goodness for the extra points you get when you are nursing. I definitely need them!

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I don't really know what the organization of my blog will look like over time, but I see myself sharing with you all aspects of my new found SAHM life. I hope you are finding that you can relate to what I have to say and continue reading. Please take a moment and become a fan of this blog on Facebook, find me on Twitter, or subscribe to the new posts (using the 'Subscribe to' button in the right hand column). I would also love to hear from you, so don't be shy and leave a comment when the mood strikes you!

Love,

Mommy C

Lost at two months...

I was a very fortunate girl about 2.5 years ago. I got to spend a week with my sister just after her first child was born. Prior to then I had never really been around really young babies. Sure I had babysat, but those kids were typically around a year or older. Well after a week I felt like a pro...I was ready for anything. I knew the 5 Ss, I could swaddle with the best of them, sway a baby on it's side like nobody's business, and...well you get the idea-I was cocky. Not a little bit cocky...a lot cocky and it didn't get any better when my son was born. I thrived on this those first few days when a nurse or doctor would see me handle my son and act surprised that this was my first child. I know, I know...I promise you I am not really this cocky usually. Please keep reading because I may have felt confident then, but this post is more about where I am now.

Now...I am lost. I have absolutely no idea what to do with a two month old and my self esteem is diminishing by the second. How do I engage him? How long should I be trying to engage him? How much time is too much time on his back? Should he be sleeping more? less? Why doesn't he smile more? Is he not happy? Am I boring him? Does he like my husband more? Yup, I am losing it.

So I was telling my husband at dinner that I was feeling really anxious as a mom lately. He was understanding, but I know he had to be thinking, "welcome to the world of new parents, so glad you could join us." So when I told him that I was worried that Baby S wasn't happy because he didn't smile very much, I am pretty sure my husband held back a laugh. Instead, he reminded me that most people don't smile all the time and he was pretty sure it was the same for babies. Why didn't I think about it that way? Probably because I am so consumed over analyzing everything that I don't just enjoy what is in front of me.

And that folks, is the reason for this blog.

Freedom came today....

Do you remember the first time you breastfed in public? I do...it was today. Sure I have breastfed in the car (while it was stopped), in the bathroom of a restaurant, and at a variety of "mothers' rooms" in stores. But dare to try it in public...HA! NO WAY! Trying to balance baby, nipple shield (oh joy!), and receiving blanket all under a lovely hooter hider just wasn't something I was looking forward to trying out in public. So to avoid this, I planned. I planned when I would leave the house...when I would eat out, when I would exercise, when I would shop...all in an attempt to avoid this one task-- breastfeeding in public. That is until today.

We were in downtown at the Saturday Market and Baby S decided he needed to eat and eat now. As soon as he starts fussing I realize that I am going to have to do it...I am going to have to breastfeed in public. Ahhhhhh! I am going to do my duty, but I am consumed with anxiety. I see all these people strolling the waterfront where I am about to bare my chest (ok, not really thanks to the hooter hider, but that is what it felt like) and I feel like they are all staring at me waiting for me to bare it all. I position the hooter hider and baby and then I realize I don't just need a hooter hider- I need a back fat hider. Ugh! Why did I choose today to wear a normal shirt instead of a nursing tank. I am so consumed by all of these thoughts that I am just getting more and more anxious. And then...I breath. I take a nice deep breath, decide to risk further fussiness and ditch the nipple shield in hopes that things will go easily and then the most miraculous thing happened....Baby S latched! Not only did he latch, but he ate...on both sides! It was a great moment when I realized that I was able to get passed the people around me, passed the anxiety, and do what I needed to do for my son and that folks, is freedom.

Love ya,
Mommy C

What a difference a year can make!

I have wanted a blog for a long time...I just didn't have anything interesting to say. I still wonder if what I have to say is much different from all the other mommy blogs, but I think it might be so here goes nothing.

A little back story first...My very first post on this blog (there were others...long since deleted though) was just under a year ago. I was thinking about journaling the process of getting pregnant and as you can see from that first post...I was not a happy camper. Little did I know that I was actually pregnant at that moment! Crazy, I know! I found out that I was pregnant on April 29th, two days after my birthday. Fast forward to today and I have a beautiful 2 month old baby boy.

So back then I wanted to be a mom NOW (not next year, not next month, NOW!!) and today I just want to be present for my son, not distracted by the other things that I need to accomplish during his next nap time, not planning what activities to do this weekend, not overwhelmed that I have no idea what I am doing as a SAHM, just there...with him...being mom right now.

I am not sure how this blog will evolve. I am hoping to talk about my struggles, share my successes, and probably spend a bunch of time talking about other stuff too.

Here goes nothing....

Mommy C