One Month

I don't know where this past month went, but I do know that there have been days that I thought would never end.  Kind of strange to have time move so fast and slow simultaneously.   I guess the good news is that I have survived.  I don't think I have done it very gracefully at times and I will tell you that there have been tears, but we all have survived and that is what is important. (insert big smiley face here)

Mr. T is doing great.  He is growing a ton and looks more like a 3 month old instead of a one month old.  He has the nursing thing down for the most part and he has even nursed in the ring sling while I was pushing Sam in the swing at the park!  He had his first cranial-sacral therapy last week for his sucking issues and I credit the treatment for his greater ability to latch without getting frantic first.  He is also starting to latch onto our fingers a lot faster.  He will have at least 2 more treatments to see if we can get him to latch onto a pacifier without a ton of coaxing.  I don't care if he doesn't ever want a pacifier, but I want to make sure he can latch if he wants to do so.   He has also started to take a bottle, which is huge!  He doesn't like to drink very much from it, but it is a start.  (I really need to be getting more sleep and that means one bottle a day when possible.)  Overall a really great first month for our little boy!

Superman is adjusting to being a big brother AND dealing with typical 18 month+ type stuff.  While he seems to love his little brother, he has shown that he wants more attention than he was getting before.  We have worked on finding special times through the day for just S and I and that seems to help.  His tantrums (which usually include hitting or throwing) seem to also be improving, thank goodness!!  I am sure that we are no where near the end of them, but at least they are more manageable now.  

My husband has been back to work for just over 2 weeks.  I had been letting him sleep at night, but now I am waving the white flag and asking for help.  The current plan is that I will go to bed after my 9-10pm feeding and then my husband will give Mr. T a bottle at around 11-12.  We did this at the end of last week and I was able to get 5-6 hours of sleep, even though he only took about 2 ounces of milk.  We had stopped because it seemed like Mr. T didn't want to eat till later, but at this point if it means I get more sleep, we are doing it.

Speaking of me....well, I am doing okay.  I am holding out hope that if I get more sleep, I will feel better.  I will post more about this later if sleep doesn't "fix" things.  Thankfully, I feel pretty good physically.  My healing has gone so much easier than it did with Superman.  I have been doing some walking, but hope to get back into a routine soon.  This should help with my mood too.

If anyone has some great tips on balancing sleep, parenting, and time for yourself, please share!  I sleep during naps (when not nursing) and once Mr. T goes to bed I want some time to myself, but feel like I should be going to bed so that I can get more sleep. 

I am also looking for good, quick snacks for me.  I tend to eat granola bars, goldfish, and cheese when I need something quick.  I want something fairly healthy, but is still easy to grab and go.  Thanks for the help!

Adjusting to being a brother...

Are you curious to know how Superman is adjusting to being a big brother?  Overall, he is doing great, but there have been a few hiccups...

It seems like a lot of my friends are having their second child right now and a hot topic among us has been "How do you help child #1 adjust to the new baby?"  In fact, Evelyn, over at Momsicle, has had two posts that include tips from her friends. We gave S a baby doll a while ago to help prepare him and we had all the baby stuff out a couple weeks before Mr. T arrived so that he got used to it, but really, nothing could have prepared him for his new little brother.

Overall I guess we are lucky because Superman doesn't pay much attention to Mr. T.  However, when he does seem interested, S gives him hugs and kisses, tries to feeding him his snacks, lays any stray blanket over his little body, and loves trying to stuff the pacifier into Mr. T's mouth. 

The difficulty has come with sharing me.  If he and I are playing, he sometimes swats other people away when they come to join us.  We have been trying to handle this by being firm, consistent, but loving.  He is trying to show us that he is feeling insecure and as his parents, we need to hear him even if we don't like the way he is telling us.  We have done time-outs, but only when he continued the behavior after we scolded him (Typically that sounds like, "No hitting, ouch, hitting hurts. Sam wants just Mommy right now, but Daddy wants to play too. Let's let Daddy play too.")

We have had a few meltdowns that have taught us about Superman's needs, including one dinner that was a pure disaster.  I will admit that during these meltdowns I have gotten really frustrated too, wishing things could.just.be.easy.  But I have learned (maybe that shouldn't be past tense...) that I need to take a deep breath (or ten) and try and see things from S's perspective.  While I am working on being patient, I am also taking notes on what S needs from us.

His behavior has told us...

• He needs to have time that is just him and I.  
• He needs to know when things are going to change (ex. I need to stop playing and feeding Mr. T) and be given some warning ahead of time. 
• He needs his schedule to be consistent and predictable. 
• He needs extra hugs. 
• He needs time with both my husband and I.  It seems to be less about getting undivided attention from us because he is okay if Mr. T is also involved.  I think it is more about him feeling comforted by having his family all together.  

Most of these things are really easy to accomplish.  Mr. T is pretty content in the swing or bouncer seat so finding time to play with S one on one is simple enough.   I love structure and having a schedule makes me just as happy as it makes S.  We are still tweaking the old schedule to meet our new needs, but we have managed to have very little change for S.  He needs hugs?  I am an endless supply of cuddles and hugs.   Finding time with my husband and I is super easy right now because my husband is home for the rest of the week. Once he goes back to work we will have to make sure he gets plenty of time with Daddy before bedtime. 

The one area that seems to be the most difficult is supporting him with adjusting to a change in activities.  My psychiatrist (and then several friends) mentioned having a box of toys just for when I am nursing Mr. T.  That made me think that I could use the box to help transition from one activity to another, but still wanted to be able to give him some sort of visual heads up when possible.  So I have gotten him a toddler timer that has the red, yellow, and green lights. I haven't used it yet...mostly because I have to figure out how to work it first, but I will be sure to report back and let you know if it is successful. 

We are still finding our way as the parents of two boys, but I think we have a good start.  I am sure there will be more bumps in the road and I will let you know what they are and how we deal with them along the way. 

An Update to "How Can It Be June?"

Way back on June 1 I wrote a post about how the first day of June signified how close we were to Baby #2's arrival and how anxious that made me feel.  People, I was more than just a little anxious...I was down right having panic attacks and crying at the simplest thing.  Not good. 

Thankfully, between your encouragement, a sisterly heart to heart, my husband's patience, and my organizational skills, I am in a MUCH better place today.  Don't worry it didn't take me 24 days to get here, just took 24 days to sit down and write a post about it. 

I want you all to know that your encouragement did mean a lot to me.  Every time someone comments on one of my posts, sends me a private message, or comments on my Facebook page I feel more grounded.  These simple acts have made me feel less alone on this journey.  Thank you.

As you can imagine, having a sister that is 6 years older than you has its positives and negatives.  My sister has always been there to tell me how she feels about my various life decisions and in general she usually is right...which is highly annoying.  Over the years she has gotten better at the delivery of her insight (and advice) and I have gotten better at receiving it. 

When she called me after reading the post on June 1st she was careful with her words, but encouraged me to think about what would happen if my to-do list didn't get done.  The idea of thinking about that isn't new to me (thanks years of therapy) and although I knew it was a good idea, it was scary to me.  I felt like I was comfortable with my lack of control over the birth of this child, but not having control over what happens to Superman during this time was pure anxiety. 

So what if I didn't get Superman's food preferences/routines/etc written down?  Would whomever was taking care of him figure it out?  Of course they would. 

Would Superman be scared for life because his schedule was completely thrown out the window? I doubt it. 

If I go into labor and my husband's aunt can't get here to take care of him, would I not be able to find anyone that could help? Well......this one was the hardest to get passed.  Turns out though, I have some pretty awesome friends that have offered to help if I need it.  I hate the idea of imposing on them...especially because I feel like I can't repay them.  But you know what, if that is my worst case scenario I am doing pretty good, right? 

So I was slowly able to move forward, out of my shadow of anxiety and into the light of (some amount of) calmness.  I created a to-do list and slowly began to work on the items on the list.  Ever so often I would get overwhelmed with one task or another, but my husband was there to help me work through it.  And today, a day before I am officially 38 weeks pregnant, that list is basically complete.  I still need to install the car seat, I would like to find a used glider since we still use the glider that is in Superman's room, and my mom still needs to get here (I added this as a joke because of my slightly superstitious nature. I think that if I cross off all my to-do items, there is a greater chance I will go into labor.  Since I want my mom here, having her arrive as one of my "to-dos" satisfies that superstition. Silliness.).

So I am feeling pretty relaxed about things.  I have been taking more time to myself so that I can rest, my contractions have stopped for the most part so this little guy seems pretty content to stay put for a little while longer, and life is good.  Don't you think?

The More You Know...L&D edition

I already know that this child's birth is going to be different than Superman's birth. It isn't so much that Superman's birth was horrible, but rather that it wasn't ideal.  I have learned about labor and delivery since then and I can see how a few changes could have made a lot of difference in how it went. 

I think it is helpful for me to share Superman's birth story first so that you can understand why I want to see things go differently this time around...so let's start there. 

Superman's Birth Story 

My water broke at around 7:30 in the morning January 1st.  I wasn't really having contractions yet, but when I called the hospital, they told me I should come in.  We took showers, packed the car, and then dropped the dogs off and got some McDonald's before we headed to the hospital arriving about 9am.

When I got there they confirmed that my water had broke (Duh!), but told me that I was only about 2cm dilated.  We walked laps around Labor and Delivery while we waited for our room to be ready.  By about 10am we were in the room.  I wanted to labor in the tub, but the doctor said that I couldn't because of the risk of infection (which is false, but I will go into that later).  Since I was also now hooked up to the IV and fetal monitoring, I was stuck in the room.  To help with the pain and encourage my cervix to dilate, I used the yoga ball and eventually tried the shower (for the pain).  Finally in the early afternoon my contractions started picking up and I decided that since I was planning on an epidural anyway, I might as well get one then before the pain got to be too bad. Unfortunately, it slowed the process down for me and a couple hours later they gave me pitocin to help me progress.  About an hour or two later I began to have some really severe pain in the lower left quadrant of my belly.  It appeared that I had a "window" in my epidural and we needed the anesthesiologist to fix the epidural.  He pulled it out a little bit and the pain went away.

Finally about 8pm they told me I was fully dilated to a 10 and could start pushing if I wanted to.  I (not knowing any better) said, "sure!" and I began the long, long effort to get Superman out.  I felt like I had no idea what I was doing.  I didn't think I was pushing correctly, but no one told me that so we just plugged along.  About an hour and a half to two hours into pushing the "window" came back.   It got so bad that I decided that I was done with pushing and gave up.  S had made zero progress towards being born at this point and I was told that his head was likely stuck on my pelvic bone.

The anesthesiologist came back and the doctor said that I had two options.  Turn up the epidural so I would be prepped for a c-section or try a narcotic.  He asked me if I thought I could push more if the pain wasn't there.  I told him that I thought so.  I can't remember exactly how it went, but basically he gave me 5 contractions to make some progress with Superman or I was going to need a c-section.

I don't know what that narcotic did exactly, but the pain went away, I could finally feel the pressure where I need to push, and S began to make slow, but steady progress.  Despite the fact that it took some time (2 more hours), I felt like I could run a marathon.  I couldn't get over how great I felt while pushing and excited that the end was near.  When he was close to being delivered, the doctor told me that the NICU staff was going to come in for the birth.  He was concerned that 4 hours of pushing had tired S out and they wanted to make sure he was okay (what they told me after he was born was that they were actually concerned that I hadn't been making progress because the cord was wrapped around S's neck. I was so relieved that this was NOT the case).  He told me that if all was well, Superman would be placed on my chest afterward, but if not they would need to take him.  Thank goodness he was fine.  At 12:05am, my husband cut the cord and S was placed on my stomach, where he stayed for the next hour and a half.

Superman did have a fever when he was born, but it was low enough that they weren't too worried.  When they finally gave him a bath, the fever broke, but at that point the pediatrician on-call was already told about the fever and a series of labs were ordered.  For the most part, this was not that horrible, except that they tested his sugar levels and they were low.  They were low again that morning so we were told that we needed to give him some formula to help get them back up.  Superman seemed to hate that stuff so he didn't drink much.  It caused me a lot of stress that morning that they were forcing me to give him formula.  However, in the end I was grateful to have some formula, because we ended up needing to use it to "top him off" on days 3 and 4 because my milk was delayed (did this with the help of a lactation consultant so that it did not impact my milk production- I do not recommend doing this without their help).

Now that you know the story, next up is all the lessons I learned and things I will do differently.  Stay tuned for that post next!!

How Can It Be June?

Today is June 1st.  You knew that already though, didn't you?  Today is also the day that I began to really lose my mind. 

In one month Superman will be 18 months old....and in one month our lives will forever change.  Our due date is July 9th and since Superman came a week early, I have had in my head that I need to be ready to go July 1st in case this baby decides to come early as well. 

All along I have been thinking I had tons of time.  In April, July seemed SO.FAR.AWAY.  In May, I felt like I better get preparing, but there was no rush.  But June?  June is the last month I have! 

People have tried to comfort me with the idea that I have done this before and that the second baby can be much easier.  All that is great, except for the fact that I am not actually worried about the new baby.  I am worried about being prepared for Superman.  I want to know that I have done everything possible to make this transition easier on him.

A lot of this anxiousness comes from the fact that, as of right now, there are at least 3 or 4 possible options for who will be taking care of S while I am in labor/delivery. 

1. My mom arrives on June 28th, but I would like to have her at the hospital if possible.  
2. We have a baby sitter that lives down the street that might be able to take care of him depending on her schedule when I actually go into labor.  
3. My husband's aunt has said that she would help if we needed her to and lately I have been thinking that I need to contact her and make that a more solid plan (mentally adding this conversation to my to-do list).   But none of these people are in Superman's daily life so I need to have as much information about his daily life written down so that they can help make this time a little less chaotic for him. 
4. If it is during the day AND there is availability, Superman might be able to go to his new daycare for some of the time.  

I have a packet started that includes all the typical babysitter information (contacts, nearest hospital, etc), plus it has his basic daily schedule and foods that he should (but might not if he is in a mood) eat for the various meals.  I also am including the words he knows (and what they sound like) and the signs he will use.  Oh and I am including how I do various things throughout the day with him (ex. bedtime routine) so that they can try and incorporate it into how they do things.  I am not so naive that I think that things will happen exactly how I have been doing them, but want to give people the best chance to keep him happy. 

I also need to have things in place around the house (both for when I am at the hospital and for when I return). 

• I need to make sure my house is stocked with food that Superman will eat...or have cash on hand to give to the person watching him to go buy the food.  
• I need to make sure that his room is organized so that people kind find the things they might need.  
• I need to have clean sheets ready to go in case they need to spend the night (don't even get me started on the chaos that would be created if I am in labor at night, my mom is in town, but someone else needs to sleep on the bed she is using because they are staying with Superman).   

Other things that I am trying to have done before Baby #2's arrival? 

• I would like Superman to go up and down the stairs voluntarily...without needing to be carried.  He can do it, it just a matter of whether he wants to and how long he will take to do it.  He is getting better daily.  
• I want S to be comfortable with his new daycare.  I need to write a post about this too, but basically I found a daycare for him one day a week.  It will allow me to go to doctor's appointments this month without him and then allow me to go to the new mom's group once the baby is here.  I am also hoping that this daycare (because of it's drop-in childcare availability) might be an option during labor if needed. 
• I want S to be used to going to bed without a huge routine at nap time.  This is for so many reasons, but the two main ones are because of the day care and because once the baby is here, I am not sure how easy it will be for me to do the whole routine and take care of the baby. 
• I want to have meals in the freezer for both the people watching Superman and for when we get back from the hospital.
• I need to pack my hospital bag.
• Finish my birth plan.  I went through the birth plan I had with Superman and deleted a bunch of stuff that wasn't excessive.  I need to go through it with my doctor at some point and will likely trim it back even more. 
• Both of our dogs need to get their shots and physicals so that the border will take them.  This is scheduled, but I will feel better when it is done.
• Next week I want to put out the various "baby equipment" that we are going to use and get S comfortable with it being here.  He loves his baby doll so we will have him help us with his baby using all of the items.  He already likes to put his baby in the baby swing!  I am hoping this will help with the transition.
• I would like to finish decorating the new baby's room.  Certainly it will be okay if this doesn't get done, I just am not sure it will ever get done if I don't do it now.
• I would like to get at least one massage and one pedicure.  I am hoping this will get done while S is at daycare that one day a week this month.  

I know I am forgetting items, but I am too tired and too stressed to keep thinking about it.  I need to find my inner zen state and just relax a little...but how I am supposed to do that is beyond me.  Any tips?

Shoe Shopping turned Shopping Spree?

Superman went through a growth spurt recently and needed some new shoes.  We had one pair, but they were lace up and frankly it is hard enough to tie my own shoes with my belly in the way, tying his can be even more difficult.  So I began the process of looking for affordable shoes that would be good for his little feet.  I thought this would be easy.  I was wrong. 

I spent several days going to the stores in my immediate area (Payless, Famous Footwear, Ross, Target, Fred Meyer, etc.) and dragging Superman along with me.  The poor kid would get so mad when we would spend a whopping 3 minutes at a store and get back in the car.  Shoes were either too expensive, too clunky, or not in his size.  I began to get desperate.

So I asked for help where everyone seems to be go for help these days....my personal Facebook account.  The feedback I got was this: (1) shoes are expensive, but it is worth spending the money to get good ones. (2) Stride Rite has the best ones. (3) If you go to the outlets they are cheaper, but same quality.

So with this information we hopped in the car and drove to Washington Square Mall.  (Side Note: I hate malls.  I don't know why really, I mean all the stores in one spot? Awesome.  I guess it is all the people, who apparently don't have to work or go to school just hanging out and getting in my way so that I can't accomplish the 3 things on my list.)  I figured if I could get a pair of shoes for $30 or under, I would settle and be done. 

Yeah, $30 at Stride Rite?  It doesn't get you much.  They did have a sale though (Buy 1, Get One @ 50%) and if I bought two pairs, the cost would come down to $30 a pair.  Not a bad deal, I suppose, but it still seemed so expensive for little shoes.  There had to be a better way.

So that got me thinking about the outlets at Woodburn.  They were only another 30 minutes south of where I was...maybe I could just run down there and save even more money! 

So that is what we did.  We hopped on the freeway and headed south till I hit the Woodburn Outlets...at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, with limited snacks, no milk, and oh, it was pouring rain and I was going to head home in rush hour traffic.  Okay so maybe this wasn't the best plan.

All in all it turned out okay.  I got Superman a pair of sneaker type shoes and a pair of summer shoes (because they had the same sale going on at the outlet) and I saved about $16 on two pairs of shoes (compared to what I would have spent at the regular store).  What I didn't factor in was my strong desire to make the trip "count" so I went scurrying from store to store looking for some good deals before we left.  An extra $100 later I came home with 3 summer shirts, a summer hat, a raincoat and a pair of jeans for Superman and a snowsuit and 2 shirts for Baby #2. 

Please tell me that I am not the only one that does crazy things like this! 

Day 2: Nap Transition

Sorry I didn't get a post up yesterday.  My husband and I went to the Blazer game last night and I was exhausted when we got home.

Yesterday went really well in the big scheme of things...overall I just want a well rested kid that is happy when he is awake and yesterday that is what I got.   In order for him to get there though? He needed a second nap.

Here is our day yesterday:

Wake up on Tuesday: 7:00-7:20ish
First Nap: 11:20am-12:40pm
Second Nap: 3:00-4:40PM
Bedtime: 7:00PM

At about 2:30 yesterday he started to get a bit cranky.  I gave him a snack and he started to rub his eyes.  I decided to try and put him down for a nap and he went down SO EASILY!  It isn't like I thought he would just drop his second nap all together, I was just surprised since he hadn't had a really good afternoon nap in a while (normally he spends 45 minutes of it playing and then crashes for about 30 minutes). His mood the rest of the day was pretty good.  He was a little upset when we left him with the sitter, but she said he calmed down relatively quickly.  She ended up putting him down about 15 minutes earlier than Monday night because he was starting to get tired (love that she was that attentive to him!). 

So today we have plans in the afternoon so we shall see how it goes.  He has been asleep for almost an hour now so if he can get another 30 minutes he might be good for the afternoon.  Stay tuned!!

Using DST To Our Advantage

So we decided to use day light savings to our advantage (even though I am not terribly thrilled with the idea).

Superman's afternoon naps have been hit or miss as I have mentioned before.  I suspected he was getting ready to drop the afternoon nap and (despite my desire to keep two naps for as long as possible) just needed to figure out a plan to get him into the new schedule.  Enter daylight savings time! 

So here we are dropping the afternoon nap all together and moving his bedtime earlier (or rather to the new 7pm) to compensate.  Maybe it would be easier if I showed you the two schedules.

Old Schedule (before time change):
Wake up: 6:20-6:40AM
First nap: 10:30-11AM to about 12:30-1:00PM
Second nap: 3-3:30PM to about 4:30-5 PM
Bedtime: 7pm

New schedule: 
Wake Up: 7:00-7:30 (hopefully)
Nap: 11:30-12 to ?????  (hopefully at least 2 hours)
Bedtime: 7pm (hopefully)

Today worked pretty well.  He slept for about an hour and a half when he went down at 11:30am.  He was really in a good mood most of the afternoon, except when he was hungry and needed a snack.  The only time he really struggled was at the end of the evening.  Our plan was to put him to be at 7:30PM since he went to bed at 8PM yesterday (thanks to DST).  Well he was tired and we took a toy away from him causing him to throw a huge tantrum.  Then my husband went to get him ready for bed and he really just wanted me.  I finally went up and did the rest of the night time routine and he was in bed about 7:30.  He cried off and on for the first hour, but he then fell fast asleep.  Hopefully it is a restful night and he sleeps in!!

 I will update you all on how he does tomorrow!!  In the meantime, how did you go about dropping a nap with your child?  What bumps did you hit along the way?

Superman is 14 Months Old!

I can't believe that Superman is 14 months old today.  Time continues to speed past me and has me routinely searching for a pause button. 

I realized today that I hadn't done a "Favorite Moments Friday" in a long time and wanted to take the opportunity to update you all on Superman.

WALKING
Superman is officially walking!  He still hasn't figured out how to stand up without pulling himself up on something or someone, but that will come in time.  He has gotten so good at walking that he can walk and drink from a sippy cup, dodge our dogs and their tails, change directions easily, and has even broken in some hard soled shoes for when it is wet outside.

TEETH
He has 14 teeth!!! The most surprising part about that is that he has gotten 4 of them in the last week (the two bottom molars came in last Wednesday, the upper right canine came in on Friday and then his upper left canine came in on Monday). 

SLEEP
Superman goes to bed about 7pm and wakes about 7am.  Although sometimes the wake up can be earlier and sometimes it can be as late as 7:30am.  He is still doing 2 naps, although the second nap is hit or miss in terms of quality and length.  Part of me really hopes that he will hold onto the second nap, but the other part looks forward to being able to go on bigger adventures in the afternoons. 

TALKING AND SIGNING

He says, "dada" and other versions like "da" and "dad" for both his dad and the dogs.  He will say "yeah" for yes and has started saying a mumbled "night night" when someone waves goodbye to him.  He has said "mama" and meant me twice.  I am sad that he doesn't say it consistently, although I am trying to appreciate the fact that some day I will want to change my name from Mama because I will hear it non-stop.  He is also starting to really babble with more sounds and intonation. He will even hum or sing to music when we are in the car.  

I think he is on the verge of signing A LOT more.  I think it is a matter of taking the time to teach him them.  He signs 'all done' pretty routinely.  He will sign 'more' when he is reminded and when I ask him to ask nicely instead of grunting, he will sign 'please'.  He will also sign 'eat' (by sticking a finger in his mouth) and 'drink' (open palm to mouth as if to blow a kiss goodbye) once and awhile.  He waves 'goodbye' and signs 'milk' and I can usually differentiate between the two. 

PLAYING
We have been going to an indoor playground for about a month now and I am constantly amazed at the things he picks up.  He will frequently find older children that will engage him in peek-a-boo or other game.  He will also mimic what the older kids are doing.  He loves to go down the little slide and can do so just holding onto my hand.  He is beginning to want the toys other children have and I am learning how to coordinate sharing with the other children and their parents.  I am grateful that the other parents are so understanding. 

My husband taught Superman how to put the mega blocks together.  It is so fun to watch them build structures together.  S seems to be very thoughtful in the blocks that he chooses.  He will sometimes only want the blocks with one connector and then other times he will want ones that are the same color. 

S is very cuddly and huggable lately.  He loves giving hugs to his stuffed animals and his baby doll.  The other day he put his baby doll on his little ride-on toy and pushed her around, just like his dad does with him.  My heart melts every time he shows how caring he is through hugs and sharing his toys and food with us.  I really look forward to seeing how he uses his kindness as he gets older. 

We went swimming at the local pool recently and I was glad we had went.  He took a little bit to get used to the water and that really surprised me.  He finally got comfortable and enjoyed blowing bubbles in the water and just putting his face in the water.  We have plans to go more regularly now so that he doesn't forget how much he likes it.  (smiley face)

***************

I think that is it, you are all caught up!  Till next time...

Pure Joy

I don't know what happened to today...it somehow got away from me.  At about 4:50 I realized that I never sat down and wrote.  Not good.  In fact, I wasn't even really sure what I was going to write about so I was very close to just forgetting about it all together.  Then bath time happened.

For days my husband, who is in charge of bath time, has been telling me that Superman has been leaning over his bath seat (which is similar to this one) to try and stick his face in the water.  My reply each time has been, "so let him".  My husband was all concerned that he might hurt himself, but I tried to assure him that as long as he was there watching and he didn't let him stay under for more than a second, the worst that would happen is that he would hate it.

So tonight, as I was folding laundry in the next room, my husband called to me and said that he was trying to do it again.  So I rushed into the bathroom to take a look.  Sure enough he was bending way over and putting his mouth into the water.

My response? Lots and lots of cheers! So then he wanted to do it again and again and again.  At one point he did a raspberry into the water and blew bubbles and I went nuts!  I was so proud of him for a) liking his face in the water and b) being able to blow bubbles so young.

My husband, not to be outdone by his son (I tease), decided he would start blowing bubbles too.  Superman thought this was just great and began giggling up a storm.  Of course it also just made him want to put his face in the water more as well because he loves to imitate what his daddy does.  He successfully blew bubbles several times and if we had let him stay in the bath any longer, I am sure he would have really gotten the hang of it.

Tonight was one of those moments that I hope I always remember.  The pure joy and laughter was something I wish I could bottle and keep forever.

I would love to hear some of your moments of pure joy with your children!

Doctor Dilemma

Let me start by saying that I love my doctor.  Specifically, I love his approach to medicine.  But sometimes? I think about leaving his practice because when I call the advice line, I am not always comfortable with the advice I get.  Then yesterday happened and now I am really not sure if we should stay or not.  Let me back up...

Superman had his one year, well baby appointment. Overall it went fine...or at least ended that way.  The way our doctor's office works is that you get brought into the room by a nurse who takes down any concerns and does the child's weight and height.  Then (on well-baby appointments) the nurse practitioner comes in.  She does a full exam, addresses any concerns, and talks with you about the things you should know about a child at X age. 

Finally the doctor comes in, looks over the nurse practitioner's notes, pokes and prods the child a little bit, talks with the parents about any remaining issues, and then you are done.  (Unless your child needs vaccinations.  Then the first nurse comes back and gives them to your child. Then you are done.)

So everything was going well until the nurse practitioner (or NP as she will be referred to from this point forward) came in.  The one we usually see was out sick, no big deal but thought I should clarify that I hadn't met her before.  Anyway, we talk about some of my safety concerns (Superman is OBSESSED with drawers right now) and she bugged me a little with her condescending response, but whatever, I asked the question.  

I also had a question about the amount of whole milk he should be consuming (he gets about 24 oz per day now).  She says that is too much...should be more like 16-18 oz.  She then wants to know how he is eating.  I tell her that he loves cheese and yogurt and feeding himself.  The he does pretty well with eating in general, but has times when I wish he would eat more but refuses.  She says that he can't possibly get enough food feeding himself.  I tell her that he sure seems to eat till he is full, but that I could be wrong. 

So then we looked at Superman's stats.  At 9 months he was at the 24th percentile for weight and 74th percentile for height (we think they measured his height wrong because up to that point he had always been in the 30-somethingth percentile).  At this appointment he was in the 18th percentile for weight and 33rd percentile for height.  The NP said that this was a concern.  She said that it probably is because he is self-feeding and he can't get enough food. 

I explain that the doctor told me that a dip in percentiles is normal from 9-12 months because they become so much more mobile.  In fact, when we were there for a sick appointment back in December and I brought up the issue?  He told me to stop worrying!  That S looked great and as long as we keep offering him food till he is full, we are good. 

Her response was that maybe it was that he was drinking too much milk.  She didn't address what he said at all.  I was just dumbfounded.  At this point I was exhausted and didn't want to deal with her any more.  I thought about arguing with her about the fact that 1 year olds are supposed to be self-feeding and that it was supposed to be a great thing that he is doing, but decided to just keep silent and ask the doctor.  

 So the doctor comes in and I bring this up to him.  I tell him that the NP thinks I should stop letting him self-feed and that I thought it was developmentally appropriate.  He said that she was wrong and that he was doing just fine.  We looked at the charts again and he said that his weight may be a little low, but given how active S was, it wasn't surprising (Superman did not stop moving the entire appointment.  He was cruising around the room, pulling up on the doctor, trying to climb me...you get the idea.).  He said to keep letting Superman feed himself and offering a good variety of foods, that he will eat when he is hungry. 

So in the end I was fine with the appointment.  I had the information I wanted...although I kicked myself for not asking the doctor about the milk amounts.  But how do I deal with an office where the doctor is great, but some of his staff doesn't give out the same information as he would?  I thought about calling the office manager and expressing my frustration, but my husband pointed out that the main boss is the doctor and since I already shared with him what she told me, there isn't more I can do. 

What would you do in this situation?

Birth Day Remorse

A year ago today I was heading to the hospital...didn't get my baby till 5 minutes into the next day, but it is still a day I will remember forever.  Unfortunately with this remembering comes a lot of odd guilt and remorse.  I know this will sound silly to many of you, but I am hoping at least one person out there gets what I am feeling.  I am remorseful that Superman wasn't born till the 2nd.  


Seriously, I feel silly just typing it, but it is true.  I feel like if I had held it together and tolerated the pain a little better I could have pushed him out while it was still January 1st.

You may be asking yourself, "why does it matter?"  It has nothing to do with having a New Years baby if that is what you are thinking.  The whole day the doctor was sure that he was going to be born that day.  It was me that had to take a break 2 hours into pushing because the pain was just too much.  It was me that didn't know what I was doing so I didn't get it done.  It has to do with the fact that it doesn't feel like he was born on the second.  I labored all day on the 1st.  I pushed on the 1st.  I was in pain on the 1st.    I expected him to be born on the 1st after all that I had gone through.  


All of this makes me worried that every year on January 1st I will be feeling all nostalgic about his birth and not so much on the 2nd.  Please tell me I will get over this stupid emotional tie to January 1st and begin to appreciate that the 2nd is truly his birthday.  

Favorite Moments Friday

Man I have been really bad at this whole Favorite Moments Friday lately.  In fact, my last Favorite Moments post? November 7th.  Yeah, I am bad.

So let's start with November: 

• Superman stayed with his first real babysitter so hubby and I could go to a movie.  It was fabulous! Then a couple weeks later the babysitter came back and hubby and I went to the Blazer's game.  It is so nice to have a babysitter that we can count on.
• I found out that I am pregnant with baby #2 and Superman is going to be a big brother!
• Superman started to teeth his molars this month.  They wouldn't come in till the end of next month, but the pain lasted all month long.
• We ditched the bucket seat and Superman is now in a convertible seat.  He is a growing boy!
• We headed to Kansas City for Thanksgiving.  It was so much fun to see Superman play with his cousins.  We also went and got family pictures taken...they turned out great!  The only downside to the trip was having to fly with a little one that really just wanted to get down and play and not stay seated in our laps.  Thank goodness for direct flights.

December 

•  Teething is driving me insane and causing Superman so.much.pain!  
• We started two new traditions...going to the Oregon Zoo's Zoo Lights and Portland International Raceway lights.  The Zoo Lights was super cold, but a whole lot of fun.  Superman liked the lights more than I thought he would, thus making the experience that much more enjoyable for us.   The lights at the raceway were also a lot of fun.  We tried taking Superman out of his car seat so he could see them better, but he just wanted to play with the door.  So I put him back in his car seat and angled his mirror so he could see them.  It worked out great.  Next year he will be big enough that I can flip his car seat around to be forward facing just for the trip around the track. 
• Christmas time was so much fun! We went and cut down our own tree.  It was so blistery cold, but it is a tradition that I love.  Decorating the house confused Superman at first.  He wasn't sure what to make of it all.   Christmas day was also a lot of fun. He loved all the paper and the boxes....oh the boxes!  He loves his new toys, but for a while he just wanted to play with the wrapping.  We also went over to my husband's aunt and uncle's home for Christmas dinner and he got to play with his cousins.  I find it fascinating how much he wants to play with the big kids (although he did have some love for his cousin that is 4 months younger).  
• He has begun to throw everything!  He throws things out of his crib, out of his play area, and food onto the floor.  We are trying to ignore the behaviors that we don't like, but it is so hard when he throws food onto the floor with two hungry (they would say starving) dogs in the house.  We started putting the dogs upstairs while he was eating, but that is a big pain.  The thing that seems to work the best is just taking the rest of the food away and saying "all done".  If he isn't done? He reaches for the food and we help him eat by giving him one piece at a time.  Hopefully he will give this fun new game up soon!
• Superman has 2 new teeth! The two top molars have poked their way through...finally!  The one on the right poked through on Christmas eve and the one of the left on Christmas day. 
• Superman is SO.CLOSE to walking independently.  Prior to Christmas he had taken a couple steps independently, but not without a lot of encouragement.  On Christmas morning he was leaning on a box on blocks and all of a sudden just let go and stood on his own.  He fell when I started to freak out, but since then has stood independently many, many times. 
• S is beginning to feed himself with a spoon.  We have to put the food on the spoon, but he takes over from there.  Needless to say meals have gotten a bit more messy, but I love that he is becoming independent!
• He helped me put his toys away!  Tuesday night my husband was about to bring him up for his bath and I asked him to help me put the blocks in the bucket.  After watching me, he began to throw some of the blocks in too.  Once we were done, he took a couple out and threw it back in, probably because we made such a big stink every time he threw one in.  

Superman turns 1 on Sunday.  I can't believe it!  This year has gone by so quickly.  I have changed so much in that time, I hardly feel like the same person.   I am going to take some time this weekend and write Superman a letter for his first birthday.  Check back on Sunday to see it!

Breastfeeding Blues Part #2

If you didn't read the first part of Breastfeeding Blues, please go read that first here. 

December 6, 2010
So I saw Nancy and (like always) she made me feel so much better!  She said to keep nursing morning and night, give him a bottle of breastmilk/whole milk before each nap and forget that the feeding after the naps ever existed.  She said if Superman continues to hurt me when I am feeding him, to "vote him off the island" and give him a bottle.

She said it all so matter-of-factly that it was hard to add the "but I want to breastfeed till he wanted to stop", but I did.  Her response was that he is going to get breastmilk till he is 1 or almost 1 and that is good enough...that if I had to stop today that it would be great, that he will be just fine.  I don't know why hearing it from her made such a difference, but it did.

Update on December 30, 2010: Since I haven't posted this post yet and I really don't want a 3rd post of all this, I am going to just update what is going on here.

Superman was all good for a few days and then decided that he didn't want the bottle before naps.  I would then spend the time from when he woke up till it was time to nap again, trying to get milk in him.  So not the way I want things to go.  I tried dropping snacks and that didn't really help at first.  Finally I started giving him the bottle downstairs, letting him drink a few ounces and then bringing him up for his nap.  My sister suggested giving it to him while we read stories and that worked pretty well too.  What I have learned is that he will take the milk downstairs, while getting his diaper changed, and while reading books, but as soon as I start the real bedtime procedures like closing the blinds or turning on the white noise...he wants nothing to do with the bottle.  At first I was frustrated by this, but now I love that cuddle time. He settles in with his head on my chest and we rock as I sing his "night, night" song.   Occasionally he doesn't drink all the milk so when I get him up from his nap I usually bring the bottle back up with me and sometimes he wants and sometimes he doesn't...either way not a big deal.  He is getting plenty of milk now and I am much less worried about this whole transition.

Breastfeeding Blues - Part 1

December 3, 2010

I am beginning to hate breastfeeding. No, wait. Actually, I think I actually hate it right now. I hate the pain that comes with Superman latching on. I hate the feeling that I being completely drained each time. I hate that I am once again worrying about supply and weight gain.

So what to do? What to do? Give up completely? Try and push through with some of the feedings and supplement with others? Just keep plugging along and deal with it all later.

Fortunately, I have about 60 3oz. bags of pumped milk in the freezer. I am currently breastfeeding 6 times a day. So enough milk to last about a week if I completely give up.  There is a problem though...I feel really strongly about breastfeeding for at least 1 year and really wanted to breastfeed till Superman wanted to wean (not when I wanted to). So even though I am really, really close to that year, I feel like I am failing, like I am letting Superman and myself down.

This all makes me want to try and stick it out, but that doesn't help the fact that I cringe every time Superman goes to latch on. So I wonder what it would be like to just nurse less. Maybe I could take those 60 something bags, drop two nursing sessions a day and make it the month easy peasy? (I say hopefully).

I guess this decision is better than some of the alternatives and I shouldn't do anything drastic anyway. Stay tuned to find out what happened!

Update: After I wrote this I decided that my husband's plea recommendation that I go see the lactation consultant was a good one and made an appointment for Monday.  I will write another post with an update after the appointment.

Teething sucks

Superman has taken to flailing his body about when he is in pain from teething.  He arches his back, waves his arms, pushes off of me with all of his might and screams.  If I put him down?  He screams louder and usually throws his body in such a way that he ends up hitting his head....which just makes him scream louder.  So I hold on to him with both of my arms- tight, especially if I am walking because he has even flung himself into a wall when I wasn't careful enough.  Fun times.

So I went to the doctor today to make sure that he is in fact "just" teething.  Doctor says that it is in fact his teeth and to hang in there.  We had a short discussion about orajel...one of his nurses had told me to not use it unless I really needed to because it can swell the gums and delay the teeth from breaking through.  The doctor had not heard this before and said that it sounded like we needed to throw everything at the molars at this point.   I agreed. 

We used it when we got home...that and ibuprofen and a couple Humphrey's teething tablets.  I was totally going to throw everything at it.  I guess I could have used gripe water too, but didn't think about it till now.   So all the meds are in him and we head to bed.  For the first time in 3 days he actually drinks from his bottle (only a few ounces, but I will take it).  Then he goes to bed and sleeps really well for an hour (not the 2 hours that I am used to, but I will take it).  Then I go in to get him and he doesn't scream!! In fact despite a little bit of "I'm just waking up" fussiness, he was delightful! 

I am thrilled that we have found something that helped (fingers crossed it continues to work)...I just wish I knew which of the things that we gave him did the trick or if all of it was needed.  I guess that is the down-side with throwing everything you got a problem. 

Wordless Wednesday: Bath time!

He loves to make a splash!

He used to hate the water on his face...

Now it is no big deal!

Wordless Wednesday: Every Puppy Should Have A Boy

Erma Bombeck said that "every puppy should have a boy" and I can't agree more!