Mr. T's Birth Story

Friday morning- last official belly shot

Let me start by saying that despite the way this labor started, I would not change a single thing about the delivery of Mr. T.  It was amazing!! Here is the story.........

I never thought I would be pregnant all the way to my due date and frankly, neither did my midwives.  The last two weeks I had several appointments and each time I was told, "any day now".  As a person with anxiety, this was not a good thing to tell me.  Despite my desire to let things happen as they are meant to, the wondering of "when will the time be" was just too much for my anxiety.  This lead us to make the decision to have an induction if I was still pregnant on Friday, July 8th.

In an attempt to not make it to Friday we did everything we could think of to get things started. The midwife stripped my membranes, I took castor oil, and I walked and walked and walked.  I don't recommend the castor oil.  It was so uncomfortable and didn't cause me to have a single contraction. Another induction method I tried was acupuncture.

According to my acupuncturist, it takes any where from 1 to 4 treatments to put a woman in labor (with the caveat that you have already started to dilate and efface).  Since we decided to start this on Wednesday, the most we were going to get was 3 treatments.  The first treatment caused some mild contractions/cramping afterward.  The second caused some strong contractions during and after the treatment, but stalled a couple hours later.  The final treatment only gave me the mild contractions/cramping afterward.  Even though it didn't put me into labor, I am convinced that it helped prepare my body for labor and I would highly recommend it.

Stylin' in the hospital gown

The actual induction was supposed to take place at 9:30 in the morning.  Unfortunately, a whole lot of babies decided that the 8th was a great day to be born and we were told that our induction was delayed until at least the afternoon.  I can't even begin to tell you how disappointing this was for us.  We all headed home (because I was at acupuncture and heading to the hospital when we found out) with our heads hanging low.  I couldn't even talk about it.  I sat on the couch and moped.

Thankfully, we got the phone call around 2:30pm stating that they were ready for us!!  We got to the hospital a little after 3pm and after some waiting around, got settled into our labor and delivery room.  Both the nurse and the midwife came in, talked with us about the induction plan, and we got things started about 5:15pm (pitocin started).  When we began I was 3cm (could stretch to a 4cm), 70% effaced, and the baby was at -2 station. 

I really wanted to make sure things went quickly so as soon as I could, I began walking.  It took a little bit for the contractions to get going.  At first it was just constant cramping (and didn't register on the monitor), but slowly they changed and began to come and go and form into "real contractions". 

At about 8:30pm they decided to break my water.  My stats hadn't changed much, but I was dilated to 5cm and having contractions that were under 3 minutes apart.

I did not expect what happened next.  I thought I would have to continue walking in order for things to progress so as soon as I got cleaned up, I headed for the hall.  I had several contractions before I actually got there and they definitely were getting stronger.  However, I only made it 2 doors down before they really came on strong and seemed like they were on top of each other.   I had to stop moving at each contraction and just try and focus on breathing. I asked if I could get into the tub at this point, but sadly it wasn't available.  Even though I was disappointed, it was a good thing because things moved pretty quickly from here. 

I honestly lost track of time at this point (as did my husband).  The contractions were right on top of each other and all I could focus on was surviving each one.  My husband was reminding me to breath and my midwife positioned herself behind me and put pressure on my hips (in and downward).  I was fascinated how much the hip pressure relieved the pain of each contraction...of course that only worked for so long.  Eventually nothing seemed to make it better and I was BEGGING for an epidural.

When the anesthesiologist got there, I had no idea how I was going to sit still while she put it in.  I could barely keep myself standing during each contraction, I couldn't imagine having to sit (because I had so much low pressure, sitting was really uncomfortable) and having to be still while I sat there.  Somehow I did it though and life got a lot easier (the did turn off the pitocin during at this time so that helped make the contractions a lot less painful).

At this point it was about 10pm and the midwife decided to check me and see how I was doing.  The smile that came across her face was priceless.  I had made it, without the epidural, all the way to 8cm dilated, almost fully effaced and 0 station.  Making it as long as I could without the epidural was a  huge goal of mine and I was thrilled that I made it that far.  The midwife needed to deliver another baby so we settled in for a short nap while I continued to progress closer to "pushing time".

The epidural made me feel really woozy.  My nose felt funny and I couldn't keep my eyes open without getting dizzy.  I mentioned something to the nurse, but she was weary about reducing it too soon.  After a little while longer I decided that I couldn't deal with the strength any longer and it was interfering with my ability to rest and causing some anxiety.  They gave me some oxygen at this point to help calm me down, which helped a lot.  When the anesthesiologist returned (around 11pm) she discovered that it really was too high for me.  I had no temperature sensitivity all the way up to my breasts!  She backed it down (from a 14 to a 6?) and we began to wait for me to regain some feeling.

The midwife took this opportunity to have my nurse check me again.  I think the nurse's exact words were, "if he was any lower, he would be crowning".  We still wanted to wait till I could feel some more (and for the midwife to get done with the other birth) so we continued the waiting game.

The midwife returned to our room about 11:45pm and I began to push at 12:07am on July 9th.  Pushing was a completely different experience this time around.  There was no pressure to push for "x" amount of time.  There was no counting, no pressure to keep pushing, no shouting (or loud encouragement that I perceived as shouting).  It was just my midwife, the nurse and my husband encouraging me to push during each contraction in a relaxed and calm way.  I stopped when I couldn't push any more and as I took my breath, the midwife told me whether or not I should push again. 

Although I couldn't feel the contractions, I could feel the pressure (it was mostly on my left) and the midwife massaging the perineum.  After a few contractions I really felt a lot of pressure on the left.  She told me the baby was crowning and she guided my hand so I could feel his head.  I pushed through a couple more contractions and I felt a little pop as his head came out.  The midwife confirmed that his head was out and that I could push even though I wasn't having a contraction.  I think I only pushed a couple more times and the next thing I knew the midwife was telling me to grab my son.  It didn't quite register at first...what was she asking of me? But then I reached down, someone helped me grab him and then I pulled him up onto my stomach....I had just delivered my own son! 

As I had him on my belly the nurse cleaned him up and helped me take off the gown so we could be skin to skin.  There was no rush to take him away (not that I thought there would be) and they waited for the umbilical cord to stop pulsing before having my husband cut it.  It was amazing! 

When it was finally time to weigh and measure Mr. T we were all shocked to learn that this little bundle of joy (that delivered way easier than his brother) weighed almost 2 pounds more than his brother did and only was 1/4 inch taller.  I have no idea where he is hiding the weight.  I speculate that it is in his hands and feet...they are gigantic!  He doesn't seem chunky at all, but barely fits into the newborn diaper and newborn pants are almost too short.  Wherever he is hiding it, he is just plain adorable and we love him!!

So there you go...the official birth story.  What do you think??

Anxiety, Depression, and Me

Throughout this pregnancy (and frankly the life of this blog) I haven't really gone into much detail about my "mental health issues".  The good news is that I haven't shared much because there hasn't been a ton to share.  Over the last year (plus some) I have shared with you how I am feeling in general, but I have been hesitant to share much more.  I feel like I am in a place now where I am not only able to share this with you, I feel as though it is important for me to share it.  

I have a diagnosis of depression and general anxiety disorder (as well as ADD, but that is another story for another day).  When I am not pregnant or nursing, my medications for the depression and ADD do a good job treating those issues and holding off my anxiety.  However, when it has creeped back into my life, I have added a medication for that as well. 

I think my symptoms for depression and anxiety seem pretty standard.  When I am depressed I tend to eat more, do less outside the home, and begin to close myself off to the rest of the world.  Internally I beat myself up for every little flaw that I see myself as having and see that there is no way that I will ever live up to the person I think I should be.  I am very concerned about pleasing other people and when I am depressed I struggle to see how I will ever be "okay" enough for those around me.  This is what usually leads to the anxiety...the fear of losing everything around me.  I not only worry about the every day type of details in my life, but I begin to have panic attacks that are obsessive and completely irrational.  The worst symptom I have during an anxiety attack is that I have a hard time breathing.  This always makes things worse because I begin to beat myself up for having the attack in the first place and I get mad that I can't control my emotions.  I try and relax and sometimes just focusing on the attack itself makes things worse.  Many times I need to distract myself from what I am obsessing about until I have calmed down, then I go back and deal with why I was so anxious. 

So what do I do about this all?  Well, I am under the care of a psychiatrist, whom I see regularly, that specializes in pregnancy and postpartum care. I was seeing a therapist regularly as well, but she did such a great job building up my skill set for dealing with my "issues" that I have not seen her since the early part of this pregnancy.  She is available if (when?) I need her.  

I mention this because when it came time for us to think about having children, I was terrified that my depression and anxiety would get worse.  It was suggested to me by a previous psychiatrist that when it came time for me to get pregnant, it would be wise for me to set up a "team" of support personal.  This not only included a psychiatrist and therapist, but an OB/midwife that was keenly aware of how my sudden change in hormones may impact depression and anxiety.  My team also included my husband and mother, obviously since they were going to be the ones with me postpartum.   I suppose you can also say that part of my "team" also includes medication.  This is a very personal decision and one that each person needs to make based on the information provided to them.  I am very confident and comfortable with my decision (so please don't judge). 

When I got pregnant with Superman we were all pleasantly surprised to find out that pregnancy hormones agreed with me.  In fact, towards the end of the pregnancy (even though it was in the middle of winter), I suffered from no noticeable Season Affective Disorder symptoms for the first time in many, many years.  I was able to continue the same minimum dosage for my medication throughout the pregnancy and postpartum.    This is especially impressive considering many women need to increase their medications at the end of the pregnancy to maintain the same effects.

We were also pleased to learn that my body adjusted nicely postpartum and I suffered from minimal signs (if any) of depression or baby blues.  HOWEVER, around the time my husband went back to work and we had no family visiting, I began to have anxiety attacks.  I had them sitting upstairs nursing S, worried that someone was going to break into the home.  I had them driving, worried that someone was going to crash into us.  I had them crossing bridges, worried that we would somehow end up going over the edge.  I imagine many of you had similar concerns when you became a new mother, wanting to protect your child.  In fact, it is very common for women to have these worries.  What is not common or "normal" is what you do with these worries and that is what separates me from most women.

If you avoid an activity (like going to the store) because of the fear and anxiety of what might happen, that is not a "normal" response.  If you obsess over your worries to the point that you can't think about anything else (or take one of the above worries and have to play them out in your mind so that you are sure you know what you will do just in case it happens, but then realize that nothing you can do will make it okay and you begin to freak out a little more because of this), that is not a "normal" response.  If you are having anxiety (or panic) attacks, this is not a "normal" response.   This is where I was with my anxiety and I was grateful that I had my "team" in place so that we could take care of it and within a few weeks, I began to have very few anxiety attacks.  The treatment for Postpartum Anxiety (PPA) is different for each patient, just as the treatment for Postpartum Depression (PPD) is different for each person.  I believe that because I had my team of people in place and because of my history with anxiety and working through it (both with therapy and medication), I had an easier time "fixing" it.  By no means was it a walk in the park, but it could have been worse. 

When it was time to get pregnant again I had no concerns about my depression and anxiety.  I felt like I knew how my body adjusted to the hormone levels and was sure that things would be similar the second time around...and for the most part things were the same, up until a few months ago.  

I began to have anxiety attacks similar to the ones that I had postpartum with Superman around the time of the earthquakes in Japan.  I was worried about an earthquake here.  I was worried about radiation levels and what would happen if they increased here.  I began to have anxiety attacks.  Thanks to my wonderful husband and the strategies that I have learned, I was able to work through most of it.  I had scheduled an appointment with my psychiatrist and was pretty much attack free when I saw her and thankfully, I did well... for awhile. 

Then June hit and the attacks came back.  Although I felt comfortable with most things related to the birth of my second child, I was frantic about solidifying a plan for Superman.  I became obsessed with all the different options for childcare for him and what each situation would look like depending on when I went into labor.  I had few actual anxiety attacks, but I recognized my frantic behavior and knew that I needed to deal with it.  Although not a perfect response to the actual anxiety issue, I found the fastest solution was actually coming up with a solid plan.  Sure enough, once things fell into place the anxiety was much better. 

Then I wrote this in the middle of last week early in the morning:
Now here I am, basically 39 weeks pregnant and at 3:40 am I am awake because I am having an anxiety attack...a big one. One so big that I can't seem to control my breathing and my relaxation strategies seem to just make things worse.  There has been so much talk about when I will go into labor that I have become anxious that it won't be soon.  I went into labor at 39 weeks with Superman and the midwife said it could be any day now.  But what if it isn't soon?  What if I am still pregnant in a week?  How will I handle that?  I am handling that idea really, really poorly right now.  I don't want to think about being pregnant another week. I don't want to think about all the people that are SURE that I will deliver this weekend. I don't want to think about the fact that I feel like I am somehow letting them down if I don't deliver this weekend.  

The problem is that not thinking about these things is what got me into this position in the first place.  I wouldn't be awake, unable to breath, unable to relax, unable to sleep if I would just deal with it.  If I just let myself mourn this possibility now, I could move forward.  But my body isn't letting me.  It is trying to protect me from feeling these emotions.   

Really, that is the heart of it all.  In my attempt to not feel certain emotions, my anxiety comes back and makes me miserable.  If I could just learn to face the emotions, I might just avoid all of this in the first place.  During my everyday life, I do a good job with this.  I face what I need to face and move forward. I think the main difference right now is how this birth is so public.  Everyone knows that I am pregnant.  Everyone knows that I am close to delivery, feeling "done' and had the midwife tell me that I am close to the end.  

I suppose that is the big downfall with sharing all these details with all of you.  But really, I know in the end that I am happier to have done so.  Sharing these details helped me connect with many of you in a new way.  I suppose that is why I was ready to share this personal struggle with all of you as well...in the hopes that it will allow for me to connect with even more of you.  To give you the opportunity to learn that you aren't alone if you deal with anxiety or depression.  

So where do I go from here?  Well last week I upped my medication level and since then my anxiety attacks are non-existent.  I am still struggling with the obsessive thinking.  Every time I go to the bathroom, sit down, or get down on the floor with S I wonder if this will be what causes my water to break (With S, my water broke when I sat down).  In an attempt to get rid of those thoughts, I began to try and think about all the people I have read about that either didn't have their water break initially or had it break when they were just sitting there going about their business or even sleeping in their bed.  Instead of that working, it just meant that almost every action is now connected to a quick thought by me about whether this is the time it will break or the time my contractions will start.  Not healthy, not healthy, not healthy.  

I have a psychiatrist's appointment early next week and I am also going to be scheduling a therapy session as well. I know that I need to deal with the issues, but I just don't feel like I can take that on as well this week.  And honestly? I am really hoping that much of it goes away when I have the baby.  I know that isn't likely and that is why I am making these appointments, but one can hope right?  

So there you go. 

Me...wide open and honest about my mental health issues. Take it, leave it, share it. Do what you want with it. I just hope that someone, who is going through the same thing, feels a little less lonely knowing that there is someone else that "gets it". 

Baby #2: Week 39 and 4 days (an update)

I think the midwife appointment this morning went well.  I am still dilated to 3 (can stretch to a 4) and everything seems "ready to go".

We talked for a while about where I am physically and mentally.  The midwife I saw today has been doing this for 27 years.  She said that she gave up predicting when babies will come a long time ago, but could see why the other midwives thought it would be soon based on my dilation, effacement, and how soft the cervix is at this point.  Even though he is engaged in the pelvis, he is still higher but she said with second pregnancies this is really normal. 

As far as the mental stuff...well once again I am reminded that I made the right decision by switching to a midwife.  Her patience with me was really reassuring.  I didn't feel rushed and she had a way of making me feel at ease with all the decisions we made by the end of the appointment.  My anxiety and obsessive thinking has really taken over (yes, I will eventually post the entry about all of that) and she seemed to understand that right now talking through it, telling me to get over it, or to stop thinking about when labor will happen wasn't going to make things change for me, that a lot of this is chemical and will be dealt with when I meet with my psychiatrist. 

Based on this conversation, she initially suggested an induction (apparently depression and anxiety disorders that are causing problems with pregnant mothers are frequently the medical reason for inducing at the end of a pregnancy in order to avoid making things worse postpartum).  She thinks that I will need very little Pitocin to get things started and then hopefully we would be able to stop the Pitocin and let things go naturally.  She wasn't even sure that they would have to break my water because I am so close to that point naturally.

I asked her about stripping the membranes as a first step and she agreed that it would be the least intrusive way to encourage things along (and isn't considered an induction).  So we decided to have her strip the membranes today.  She also suggested some castor oil and an enema...although I can't say that I am too excited about that idea. At any rate, if the stripping doesn't work, we are working on setting an induction date for Friday.

It is nice to finally have an end date. I am hoping that the stripping of membranes work, but if not that will be okay too.  We have a plan now and I always feel better when there is a plan. 

I appreciate all the support that I have been getting here and on Facebook.  It means a lot to me to know that there are so many amazing women cheering me on.

Baby #2: Week 39

July 2, 2011

How far along: 39 weeks

Baby's size: Watermelon (Month 9: weeks 37-Delivery)

Symptoms (otherwise known as Mommy C's Weekly Complaints): 

•  The same old symptoms.  You don't need me to list them once again.
  

Total Weight Gain:
Gained another pound.
Total weight gain= +12 pounds  

Maternity clothes:yes

Best moment this week: My mom got here!
  
Movement: Yup.  He moves from lying on his side to having his back facing out. 

Food cravings:  Not a whole lot.  I alternate between being really hungry all the time (and eating whatever I can find) to being so nauseous that I don't want to eat anything.

Gender: BOY!!!  

Labor signs: 
Lots of normal signs that signal that it might be sometime soon, but soon could be any day or a week from now.  I have lots of cramping and some contractions.   Yesterday when I saw the midwife she said I was still at about 3 cm dilated, but now 80% effaced.  She saw some bloody show as well.  When will I go into labor? I have no effin' clue.


What I miss: Being not pregnant.  I know, I know. I will miss being pregnant soon after my son is born, but frankly right now I am just done.


What I'm looking forward to:  Delivering this baby!

Weekly Wisdom (aka what I learned this week):  not a wise women, just done being a pregnant woman. 

Milestones: My mom made it here!

Emotions:I have a post written about all of this, just haven't posted it yet.  Stay tuned.

Exercise:
Boot Camp:  DONE  (even though I miss it!!)
Pregnancy Water Aerobics: DONE
Total exercise time:  done

Here's to hoping that next week I don't have a pregnancy post!

Baby #2: Week 38

 

June 25, 2011

How far along: 38 weeks

Baby's size: Watermelon (Month 9: weeks 37-Delivery)

Symptoms (otherwise known as Mommy C's Weekly Complaints): 

• A LOT of low pressure  
• Baby #2s position is pushing on a nerve causing sharp, shooting pains in my upper thigh/groin (not sciatica- more in the front) when I am walking (not all the time thank goodness!)
• Sore hips -although the foam pad seems to be helping a lot.
• Fewer braxton hicks and cramping this week compared to last, but I have had a few painful contractions as well (just enough for me to think, "could this be it?" and then they stop).
• General uncomfortableness

Total Weight Gain:
Total weight gain= +11 pounds  

Maternity clothes:yes

Best moment this week:  I learned that there was an actual change happening with my cervix.   This made me grateful that I didn't go through all that pain last week for nothing. 
  
Movement: Yes, on Thursday I swear he was doing gymnastics in my uterus.  Then on Friday I had a bit of a scare when I hadn't felt him all morning and when I laid down to try and do kick counts I only got a couple in an hour.  I called the midwife to find out if I should be expecting decreased movement as I approach the end of the pregnancy and she informed me that I should still be getting 10 kicks in 2 hours.  So I drank some juice and stopped trying to multi-task and sure enough, in the second hour he woke up and started moving. 

Food cravings:  Fruit - so glad that strawberries are in season!

Gender: BOY!!!  

Labor signs: 
This past week was so much calmer than the week before.  I decreased my activity a ton thanks to my husband and sending Superman to daycare on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday mornings (in addition to his full day on Monday).    

However, on Monday the midwife said I was 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced.  Then on Tuesday I lost the rest of my mucus plug (I had been losing smaller amounts of it the week prior.  Sorry if this is TMI.).  I have also had a few contractions that were actually painful, but they never became regular or continued for very long. 

I am torn on whether or not to have the midwife check me on Monday.  I am grateful that this little guy has decided to stay in a little longer and I am not sure I want to stir things up.  So we shall see...

What I miss:  Being able to go about my normal routine.  I also really miss going to Boot Camp.  


What I'm looking forward to:  Tuesday when my mom gets here!!!!

Weekly Wisdom (aka what I learned this week): Listen to your body.

Milestones: Made it another week!  I am shooting for July 2nd now because we think it would be cool for Superman and Baby #2 to be exactly 18 months apart.

Emotions: I am going to write a full post regarding the change in my emotions this week.  However, I will share that I have been much more quick to tears...I almost starting crying today when my husband went and got cash so I could have a lemonade at the Farmer's Market this morning.  I think I have said, "stupid hormones" to more people than I can count this week as an explanation for the tears. 

Exercise:
Boot Camp:  OFFICIALLY DONE  (even though I miss it!!)

Pregnancy Water Aerobics: Monday (1 hour each)  -I am not sure if I am done with this or not.  I could only do about 15 minutes of the actual workout before the braxton hicks started up again.  I spent the remainder of the class floating and enjoying weightlessness.  I imagine if I go, I will likely just go to float.


Total exercise time:  not enough to really count.

Till next week!

An Update to "How Can It Be June?"

Way back on June 1 I wrote a post about how the first day of June signified how close we were to Baby #2's arrival and how anxious that made me feel.  People, I was more than just a little anxious...I was down right having panic attacks and crying at the simplest thing.  Not good. 

Thankfully, between your encouragement, a sisterly heart to heart, my husband's patience, and my organizational skills, I am in a MUCH better place today.  Don't worry it didn't take me 24 days to get here, just took 24 days to sit down and write a post about it. 

I want you all to know that your encouragement did mean a lot to me.  Every time someone comments on one of my posts, sends me a private message, or comments on my Facebook page I feel more grounded.  These simple acts have made me feel less alone on this journey.  Thank you.

As you can imagine, having a sister that is 6 years older than you has its positives and negatives.  My sister has always been there to tell me how she feels about my various life decisions and in general she usually is right...which is highly annoying.  Over the years she has gotten better at the delivery of her insight (and advice) and I have gotten better at receiving it. 

When she called me after reading the post on June 1st she was careful with her words, but encouraged me to think about what would happen if my to-do list didn't get done.  The idea of thinking about that isn't new to me (thanks years of therapy) and although I knew it was a good idea, it was scary to me.  I felt like I was comfortable with my lack of control over the birth of this child, but not having control over what happens to Superman during this time was pure anxiety. 

So what if I didn't get Superman's food preferences/routines/etc written down?  Would whomever was taking care of him figure it out?  Of course they would. 

Would Superman be scared for life because his schedule was completely thrown out the window? I doubt it. 

If I go into labor and my husband's aunt can't get here to take care of him, would I not be able to find anyone that could help? Well......this one was the hardest to get passed.  Turns out though, I have some pretty awesome friends that have offered to help if I need it.  I hate the idea of imposing on them...especially because I feel like I can't repay them.  But you know what, if that is my worst case scenario I am doing pretty good, right? 

So I was slowly able to move forward, out of my shadow of anxiety and into the light of (some amount of) calmness.  I created a to-do list and slowly began to work on the items on the list.  Ever so often I would get overwhelmed with one task or another, but my husband was there to help me work through it.  And today, a day before I am officially 38 weeks pregnant, that list is basically complete.  I still need to install the car seat, I would like to find a used glider since we still use the glider that is in Superman's room, and my mom still needs to get here (I added this as a joke because of my slightly superstitious nature. I think that if I cross off all my to-do items, there is a greater chance I will go into labor.  Since I want my mom here, having her arrive as one of my "to-dos" satisfies that superstition. Silliness.).

So I am feeling pretty relaxed about things.  I have been taking more time to myself so that I can rest, my contractions have stopped for the most part so this little guy seems pretty content to stay put for a little while longer, and life is good.  Don't you think?

Baby #2: Week 37

June 18, 2011

How far along: 37 weeks

Baby's size: Watermelon (Month 9: weeks 37-Delivery)

Symptoms (otherwise known as Mommy C's Weekly Complaints): 
This was a tough week.  In fact on Thursday there was a part of me that thought I wasn't going to make it to this weekend still pregnant.  

• A LOT of low pressure  
• Sore hips - I finally bought a foam pad that is big enough for my side of the bed.  This allows me to sleep on my side with slightly less hip pain....just wish it was more than slightly less.
• Cramping and Braxton hicks 
• General uncomfortableness

Total Weight Gain:
Total weight gain= +11 pounds  

Maternity clothes:yes

Best moment this week: We had an ultrasound on Monday and got to see our boy again (and actually confirm that he is still a boy).  They estimated his current weight at 7 pounds 1 ounce which had me worried at first.  Then I looked back at the ultrasound we had with Superman at the same point.  They estimated his weight at the time to be 7 pounds 2 ounces and he was born 2 weeks later at 7 pounds 14 ounces.
  
Movement: Yes, less kicks though and more full body movements.

Food cravings:  Watermelon!  I think it is funny that the baby is as big as a watermelon and that is what I am craving. :)

Gender: Still a...  BOY!!!  

Labor signs: Um, Yes?  
(Rather than just list how I have been feeling, I am going to write it out.  These are the things that I think I will forget in the years to come (since I have already forgotten what it was like with S) and I would like to have record of it.) 
     Tuesday night I began to have trouble walking without having a ton of low pressure.  I also began to get really emotional over everything.  Wednesday I woke up with some mild cramping (like period cramps), but it went away shortly after waking up.  I tried to go to boot camp, but between the low pressure, my emotions, and eventual contractions, I left in tears.  I was fine, just needed some rest.  Wednesday night, thanks to Isabelle's suggestion on the Facebook wall, I went to water aerobics and I felt really good while doing them.  It is nice to feel weightless when you have so much pressure the rest of the day. 
     Thursday I woke up again with the mild cramping, but they didn't go away.  I called the midwife after 2 hours and spoke to the nurse.  We ruled out any infection that might cause the cramps.  I explained that I was also having really low pressure and feeling like I had to go #2 all the time (sorry TMI) even though I didn't.  I got the feeling from her that she thought maybe I was in early labor, but wasn't ready to tell me that.  She told me I could call back and make an appointment to be checked out if I felt worse later.  The cramps basically stayed with me all day, although I noticed them less if I was distracted so I tried to stay distracted.  Unfortunately, that backfired on me and made them worse later.  So I laid low the rest of the day and decided if I still had the cramps in the morning, I would go to the doctor.
     Friday I woke up and the cramps were gone.  I brought S to an indoor playground/cafe in town and we played for about an hour, but then the cramps came back.  So we went home and I rested while S napped.  It was such a nice day out, but the warmth was just too much for me in the afternoon.  I felt nauseous and cramping.  So instead of playing outside all afternoon like I had planned, S and I hid out inside.  I felt awful that I couldn't bring him outside, but I knew that I would only be worse off if we went out.  Eventually I decided that my cramps and nausea were too much so I filled our giant tub in the master bathroom and S and I took a bath together.  It was wonderful!  He got to play and have a great time and it really helped me feel better.
     Yesterday was my wedding anniversary so my husband and I went out to dinner dessert.  Sitting upright appears to be difficult for me and a trigger for the cramping and contractions.  We made due though and had a great night.  Unfortunately, I woke up around 2 am last night with more cramps, contractions, and nausea.  It is frustrating for me that just the act of going out to dinner and dessert was too much for my body to handle.  
     I am now dealing with the guilt of what this means for Superman and the week ahead.  My husband tries to remind me that I stopped working at 37 weeks with S and so I shouldn't feel bad, but I had been feeling so good for so long that I really had hoped that I would stay that way till my water broke.  I guess I was being a bit naive.   

What I miss:  Feeling like I can do anything.  I will probably sound like a broken record here, but I really thought I was going to feel good till the end this time around.  

What I'm looking forward to: Next Tuesday when my mom gets here. 

Weekly Wisdom (aka what I learned this week): That our bodies have a way of telling us when to slow down and when you don't listen, it just speaks louder to you. 

Milestones: Made it to full term! 

Emotions:  I am so emotional!  I am currently blaming it on hormones and the fact that I feel so lousy.  I want to be excited that I am going to meet this little guy soon, but am worried that he will come sooner than he should.  I know that he is technically full term now, but I have to believe that another week or two will be better for him...even if it is a struggle for me.  

Exercise:
Boot Camp: Tuesday (1 hour 15 minutes) and about 20 minutes on Wednesday----OFFICIALLY DONE 
I have put my boot camp membership on hold and will not try to work out again till 6 weeks postpartum.  

Pregnancy Water Aerobics: Wednesday (1 hour each) 
Total exercise time:  2 hour 35 minutes--For this week the only "exercise" I am doing is going to water aerobics and then I am still going to be cautious about how much I do....then next week I may reconsider once my mom gets to town. :)

Till next week!