Breastfeeding Blues - Part 1

December 3, 2010

I am beginning to hate breastfeeding. No, wait. Actually, I think I actually hate it right now. I hate the pain that comes with Superman latching on. I hate the feeling that I being completely drained each time. I hate that I am once again worrying about supply and weight gain.

So what to do? What to do? Give up completely? Try and push through with some of the feedings and supplement with others? Just keep plugging along and deal with it all later.

Fortunately, I have about 60 3oz. bags of pumped milk in the freezer. I am currently breastfeeding 6 times a day. So enough milk to last about a week if I completely give up.  There is a problem though...I feel really strongly about breastfeeding for at least 1 year and really wanted to breastfeed till Superman wanted to wean (not when I wanted to). So even though I am really, really close to that year, I feel like I am failing, like I am letting Superman and myself down.

This all makes me want to try and stick it out, but that doesn't help the fact that I cringe every time Superman goes to latch on. So I wonder what it would be like to just nurse less. Maybe I could take those 60 something bags, drop two nursing sessions a day and make it the month easy peasy? (I say hopefully).

I guess this decision is better than some of the alternatives and I shouldn't do anything drastic anyway. Stay tuned to find out what happened!

Update: After I wrote this I decided that my husband's plea recommendation that I go see the lactation consultant was a good one and made an appointment for Monday.  I will write another post with an update after the appointment.