Saturday, March 06, 2010

Freedom came today....

Do you remember the first time you breastfed in public? I do...it was today. Sure I have breastfed in the car (while it was stopped), in the bathroom of a restaurant, and at a variety of "mothers' rooms" in stores. But dare to try it in public...HA! NO WAY! Trying to balance baby, nipple shield (oh joy!), and receiving blanket all under a lovely hooter hider just wasn't something I was looking forward to trying out in public. So to avoid this, I planned. I planned when I would leave the house...when I would eat out, when I would exercise, when I would shop...all in an attempt to avoid this one task-- breastfeeding in public. That is until today.

We were in downtown at the Saturday Market and Baby S decided he needed to eat and eat now. As soon as he starts fussing I realize that I am going to have to do it...I am going to have to breastfeed in public. Ahhhhhh! I am going to do my duty, but I am consumed with anxiety. I see all these people strolling the waterfront where I am about to bare my chest (ok, not really thanks to the hooter hider, but that is what it felt like) and I feel like they are all staring at me waiting for me to bare it all. I position the hooter hider and baby and then I realize I don't just need a hooter hider- I need a back fat hider. Ugh! Why did I choose today to wear a normal shirt instead of a nursing tank. I am so consumed by all of these thoughts that I am just getting more and more anxious. And then...I breath. I take a nice deep breath, decide to risk further fussiness and ditch the nipple shield in hopes that things will go easily and then the most miraculous thing happened....Baby S latched! Not only did he latch, but he ate...on both sides! It was a great moment when I realized that I was able to get passed the people around me, passed the anxiety, and do what I needed to do for my son and that folks, is freedom.

Love ya,
Mommy C

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