Monday, August 09, 2010

Oh Jealousy!

I am not normally a jealous person.  Sure I might admire a friend's new car or look up to a friend that seemingly is able to balance things better than I can.   But full-on jealousy?  The jealousy that puts a pit in your stomach and makes your brain search for something that is equally as awesome going on in your life so that you can validate that you are equally as cool?   Nope.  Not me. That is until I had a baby.  Now? I see a baby that can do something that my baby can't and I feel sick to my stomach.  It isn't like my baby is delayed or isn't doing some pretty cool things.  In fact, he has spent the last month learning new thing after new thing.  But I want my baby to be the best at everything, ahead of the game, and top of the class.  (I sound like a wild eyed, crazy lunatic...I need help!)

So yesterday Superman, hubby, and I went to a potluck for our playgroup.  You already see where this is going, don't you?   When I saw that one of the babies could crawl (and is only 4-5 days older than Superman), I was so overcome with jealousy.  I hate that I was jealous.  Superman has started scooted a little bit, but he still prefers to roll everywhere.  But seriously? I don't want him to crawl too soon because I am just getting used to the fact that when I put him down in one spot to play, he will not be in that spot when I return, not to mention the baby proofing that we need to do once he starts crawling!  The mom of this little boy then told me that he is also pulling himself up and standing for small amounts of time.  Again? I am a total jealous wreck.

I need to get over this fast because I can see where this is headed.  What happens if he isn't in the top reading group at school or the best athlete on his soccer team (and since he is my kid, both aren't likely to happen)?  I will not be that mom that pushes my kid to be better and better just because it makes me feel good.  I want to be the mom that lets my kid be an individual, fostering his creativity, and providing opportunities for him to learn and grow in his own time. 

When I first started thinking about this, I thought that I should think of all the wonderful things Superman does do so that I wouldn't be so jealous.  But really?  That is a jealous behavior.  So I have decided that when a mom tells me some amazing thing that their kid is doing, I am going to try very hard to be happy for that child and not compare him or her to Superman.  And if those jealous thoughts start to creep into my head? I am going to picture this wild eyed, crazy lunatic and remind myself that this is NOT who I want to be.


(picture is from kinneybrothers.com)


What do you do when jealousy strikes you?

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