Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Bad Mommy!

I was getting cocky.  Really cocky.  So what happens when you are getting too full of yourself?  Life throws something at you that shows you that you have no right to be cocky at all.  Two things happened in the last 24 hours that has knocked me back down to size...I just wish that Superman wasn't the one hurt in all of this.  Let me back up and explain what happened...

Superman and I are doing Baby and Me classes through the local parks and recreation program.  Our instructor seems nice enough and although the teacher side of me wants to critique her lack of differentiating for the younger babies, it is just a freakin' baby and me class so I know I am just supposed to bite my tongue. 

One of the things that really surprised me by this class is that we do "dolphin dives" with our children.  Having had been a lifeguard and WSI swim instructor, I thought it was standard that going under water with the babies during this type of class was not allowed.  (Editor's note: yes, prior to this class I had personally put Superman underwater, but I did so outside of a class situation and only if the situation was right- don't want to give the details, because I am not someone who should be teaching people how to do this.) So when she started doing the dives with the other parents (where she would dunk them and glide them through the water to the parent), I made an assumption.  I assumed (you know what they say about that right?) that either WSI changed their program OR she had further training that allowed her to do this in the class.  Yesterday, was Superman's turn and he did fabulous!! What happened just after it though, was not so fabulous. 

The instructor had just taken him from me and, thanks to Superman's lack of fear and big head, he face planted into the water.  He does this a lot and I have to be really cautious about it.  The instructor and I had talked about it a couple of times because I was really worried that something might happen if he was caught off guard.   Well...this time he was caught off guard and I think he was taking a breath in when he face planted.  After she brought him up he started sucking in for air, like he couldn't get it to go in.  He wasn't coughing like he should have been and was not recovering quickly.  The instructor continue to hold him in front of her and told him something along the lines of "you're okay" and after 10-15 seconds of him not recovering, I took him back and started patting him on the back.  The instructor looked at me and asked/stated, "he is okay now./?"  I said no I don't think he is getting air in.  I headed for the stairs to get out thinking that either I need more help or he might throw up the water once he does start coughing.  I looked at her and asked, "what should I do?" and she looked around and asked if he was getting air in now.  I finally tipped him forward as if he was choking and patted him on his back more.  I don't know if the tipping helped or the patty helped, but soon he was actually okay.  He seemed a bit shaken, but was breathing normally.  I was concerned that he be afraid of the water if we just left, so I got back in the water, but watched him like a hawk.  After class?  I went and spoke to the program director.  He and I chatted for a LONG time.  I wanted to know what training she had to do the dolphin dives with the babies because even though that wasn't what caused the problem, any person with that extended training should know how to respond to that type of situation.  Turns out all she has is the WSI certification...which might be okay if they have changed their curriculum.  But honestly? I don't think they have. The director is looking into it for me and will be talking with the instructor about how to better handle those situations.  As I left his office, I felt better because I was heard, but I felt worse because as Superman's mom it is my job to protect him.  I made some assumptions about his safety and I am mad that I didn't think this all the way out.  I am still going to be going to the class because he loves the water and it is an opportunity for me to help him be more comfortable in it, but I don't think I will be handing him over to the instructor anytime soon. 

So that is bad enough right?  I should so not be a cocky mommy after that, but wait...there is more.

This morning Superman and I were getting ready to go to boot camp.  I was dressed and ready and it was time to change his diaper and get him dressed.  He has become such a big wiggly worm when doing the diaper change that I have to watch him like a hawk now. In fact, I had taken to sitting him up on his changing pad as I gathered things from the dresser below him because he would stay seated in.one.spot. rather than trying to roll off the table.  Do you see where this is going?  Ugh.  So I was pulling out shorts from the dresser below him and he decides to dive for those shorts.  I caught him, but he still hit his head on the edge of the dresser drawer.  See?  BAD MOMMY!!! I was able to comfort him a little bit and he nursed for a few minutes.  I noticed that a small egg was appearing so we headed downstairs for some ice.  The only way I could figure out how to distract him while I put ice on his head was to turn on the TV to the Sprout channel (thank you Wiggles!).   So the bump is now gone, but I think there is going to be a bruise.  I did call the doctor's office just to make sure I did the right thing and to make sure that it was okay that he goes to sleep for his nap (because at this point we were so not going to boot camp).  They did say to call them if he starts vomiting or acting differently.  So right now he is napping.  I have gone in to check on him a couple of times and seems to be resting fine.  THANK GOODNESS!!!    (Editor's note: in case you ever have a similar situation- don't just do what I did because it worked for us, call the doctor just to be sure because every head injury is different and I don't really know what I am talking about)

So now I am humbled.  I am reminded that I have flaws and that if I am not careful, those flaws can hurt my son.  I hate that!  So what now?  Well I am guilt ridden and will probably stay that way for a long time.  I am also contemplating ditching the changing pad all together so that this doesn't have any chance of happening again to me or my husband.  Now, does anyone have any tips they want to send me for not hurting my child in the future?  Maybe something that you learned the hard way (so I don't have to)?  Thanks!


Mommy C


Carolyn said...

Glad the little guy is okay. Amazing how our children survive our mothering skills. It only took one time when I had my daughter in her baby bjorn, thinking I got this parenting thing down, when I misjudged a door and opened it too close smacking little boo-boo in the head. Holy crap! I never forgave myself for that one. She was just fine but I was feeling like a complete failure as a mother.

Jennifer said...


LOVE your Blog!A you are not a bad mommy and B I am with you. The other night I was a bad mommy because I just wanted to lay on the couch and rest and Emma was wanting to climb all over me, so I let her get up with my on the couch and she of course promptly fell off!!! Thank the LORD Cahill was close by, because between the both of us we caught her, but I burst into tears because I "dropped" her. She meanwhile, was laughing hysterically! We all have moments, but it is how we recover that matters! WE change Emma bems on the floor now, because she is so squirmy. At least when she wiggles she wiggles away, not down! :)

You are a great mom from what I can see, so keep on trudging your way through...Soon they will be telling us what to do anyway! LOL

Rebekah @ Mom-In-A-Million said...

One day, at a party, C came walking up to me, his eyes, wide and fear on his face, right before coughing up the piece of carrot he was choking on. It was over before I even really knew what was happening but he was terrified after not being able to breathe for a second. Awful. It happens to all of us but it doesn't ever feel ok.

Melinda said...

You are not a bad mommy! Either of those things could have happened to anyone. In fact, my little girl fell of the changing pad down to the floor when she was about 10 months old! Just take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are human...and kids are built to withstand their parents' humanity.

estefanick said...

You are a fabulous Mama and I'm so sorry you had both of these experiences back to back. First of all, the changing table was a scary spot for us for a while. I had to get EVERYTHING ready ahead of time while L was on the ground, and then I put her up on the changing table just for the actual diaper change. Also, those straps on the pad that I used to make fun of... they actually work pretty well!!
Second- we've had GREAT success with L going underwater. I'll share our progression from swim class if you are interested, but as always- trust your instincts!!! You are doing a fabulous job!!! :) Hugs!

Anonymous said...

Hi Cindy,
Don't beat yourself up! Both events are definitely scary but you took care of both responsibly. I completely understand why you feel guilty but the guilt will not help you to be a strong mommy. Learning your lessons will help you be a strong mommy. You have learned!
A girlfriend of mine was typing on her computer for a quick minute while her son lay on the bed. He was less than a year old. She felt confident he would stay put in the middle of her king-size bed because he was napping. Whump!! Baby hits the (concrete covered in hardwood) apartment floor! She cancels her lunch plans with me to make an emergency trip to the doctor. The doctor, after examining the child, fills out the PRE-MADE FORM for infant falls off of furniture. "Was it the couh, the bed, or the changing table?" Infant falls are so common that the pediatrician does not want to type out notes about it each time - he needs only check a box to record the reason for the patient's visit. This of course does not excuse infant falls, but it at least shows that there are many mommies and daddies whose babies take such a fall. (If it improves the sense of moral appropriateness: today I heard a story about one such fall that was permanently debilitating - so infants falling off furniture is a serious matter and must be avoided!!)
Nicole R

Mommy C said...

Thank you all so much for sharing your stories!! I love that my blog is a venue where you all felt comfortable enough to share those moments. It makes me feel better to know that I am not so much a bad mom, but more just 'human'. :)

Thank you again for taking the time to post on my blog. If you have a blog linked to your post, I am off to visit you. :)

Liz said...

that is really not good. that woman should never have taken a baby underwater, and clearly, she wasn't equipped to do so. i feel really bad for you and him!

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