Monday, October 24, 2011

It gets better.

I think that I am finally over the hump!  In the past month I have been doing some hard work so that I could start to feel better.  Things aren't perfect, but what is?  I can honestly say that my depression is minimal and my anxiety attacks are almost non-existent.  In the last week or so that things have started looking a whole lot brighter for me.

Interestingly, it took a really crappy day for me to realize that I was doing better.  A whole slew of things went wrong last Friday morning and I really felt quite chaotic and overwhelmed.  However, when nap time came around and I began to think about my morning, I realized that I felt chaotic and overwhelmed, not because of my anxiety disorder, but because anyone would feel that way given the string of events that I had that morning (ok, so my ADD didn't help but that is a different story).  It was at that point that I realized that I was, in fact, feeling better.  Had I not been?  I would have never even attempted to continue my morning outside of the home and  if I did stick with it, I would have surely had an anxiety attack or two.

I then began looking back over the last week.  I realized that I am now able to leave the house with almost no anxiety.  I trust myself and do not obsess over whether or not I made the right decision.  I do not drive down the road with consistent anxiety about an accident.  I feel free!

Sure, I still have an anxiety attack here and there, but it is so much better that I can't help but feel relieved that I made it through the worst parts. 

I will go into some specifics about my treatment in another post because I think it could be helpful to some.  However, if you are suffering from postpartum depression and/or anxiety, please take away this:  It will get better.  It may take you less time than me. It may take you more time than me.  But if you stick with your treatment plan, you will get better. 

Do not give up.
Do not stay silent about your struggles. 
Know that you are not alone. 
Know that it can look differently for each person, if you don't feel right, seek help. 
Thank you.

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