Monday, September 20, 2010

Not ready to say goodbye....

As many of you already know, my stepmom passed away last week.  I haven't written about it yet because we had my hubby's family here and frankly, I am living in a world of denial.  I want to write a really nice post in memory of her, but am just not in the place to do it yet.  Being so far away, I just haven't had the closure yet.  I don't "feel" different so she must not be really gone, right?  Obviously, that isn't the case, but that is kind of what it feels like.

Maybe I should mention that I am a stranger to dealing with someone dying.  I have had grandparents die and there was a plane crash when I was in middle school where all the kids from one family died, but I only knew one of the girls a little bit, oh and there was a teacher that died in a motorcycle accident....but really other than my grandparents, no one else that I was really close with has died.  I don't know how to process the grief and right now it all seems to overwhelming to really think about.  I suppose I will deal with it in spurts...or it will all come pouring out at some point....not sure if there is a right way or a wrong way to grieve so I am learning as I go. 

Speaking of the funeral, I leave Thursday for my dad's house in NY and I am thinking that I will wait to write the post about her till I return.  I am telling you all this because ideally the next post I write should be about her and part of me feels like it might be disrespectful to write about other stuff.  Hopefully no one takes the fact that I am going to talk about frivolous things, like my haircut that I had today (and will have a post about tomorrow, as disrespect to my stepmom, my dad, or anyone else in my family.  When I am ready, I will write a beautiful post that explains to you why this woman will be so greatly missed, not just by her family, but by everyone that knew her.

Thank you for understanding.

TTFN,
Mommy C

3 comments:

Becca said...

Mommy C I had no idea. I am thinking of you! I have never lost anyone other then grandparents I did not know well. My grandparents I know well are still alive and kicking! I can only imagine how you are feeling. Hang in there. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Of you need an escape when in NY facebook me and we can meet somewhere!

Becca

Mommy C said...

Thanks for your kindness and support Becca.

Tiffiny said...

There is no wrong way to grieve, trust me :)

It will get easier with time, though. That much I know to be true.

Enjoy the time you get with your family as much as you can, and don't forget that in your sadness, to remember all the good times you had with your stepmom. It helps, I promise.

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